can we please acknowledge that tma/tme is a meaningful distinction? a justice of the US supreme court is openly saying that it’s legal to discriminate against trans women because the same laws do not target trans men. the transmisogyny is what makes it permissible. your transphobia is fine as long as it has carveouts for men.
Interesting how the transfeminine version got marked mature literally *as* I posted it, very clearly hitting some sort of automated filter, while the cis version was untouched by the filter even though it was otherwise identical
Alright, fine, here’s the backstory about replacing my Microsoft Copilot key with a picture of a carp. Warning: that’s the whole story.
When I bought my latest laptop, which coincidentally is already losing functionality in multiple keys, I noticed that the right Control button was no longer a right Control button. This was a bad sign for me, someone who fairly frequently used the right Control button. Worse still, it now bore the Microsoft Copilot logo and would open, when pressed, Microsoft Copilot. Not having personal interest in that particular robot, I was now in the market to rebind that key to something else.
I initially considered setting it up as my dedicated The Sims 2 button, but not only do I not yet have The Sims 2 installed on this computer, the way I play that game, it takes upwards of 15 minutes to boot up. I knew I would be constantly accidentally hitting this key, and I did not want to be constantly accidentally opening The Sims 2.
My partner immediately suggested that I set it to open “a jpeg of a fish.” I Googled “carp,” found an image, and set my right Control key to open a tiny browser window with a link to said fish. Though it is a .png file from pngtree labeled “pngtree-rohu-carp-fish-png-png-image_4022775.png”, in an effort to display matrimonial piety, I dutifully labeled it “fish jpeg.”
I now accidentally open this link multiple times a day, which is great, because it means I have a lot of opportunities to see a fish. Sometimes I accidentally hit it several times in quick succession, which means I get to see several fish! When I close all my open programs to shut down my computer, I usually find at least one forgotten fish. Things are working out beautifully, and everyone is happy.
The other day I brought up this story to a friend and relayed the saga of my success to her through her obvious confusion. At the end of my tale she asked me, “Why didn’t you just bind it back to right Control?” and I had to admit to her that it honestly never occurred to me.
trans women: *universally reviled and ostracized, can barely exist in public without being harassed, attacked, or openly mocked, involvement with any community correlates with worsening mental health, still retains basic need for human contact*
trans women: *carves out a tiny niche for trans women to connect with each other, share experiences, and provide for one another.*
cafab men: *gazes longingly from local women’s studies department at trans women nurturing one another, becomes overwhelmed with entitlement towards the women who are not currently laboring on his behalf or for his benefit*
cafab men: *demands inclusion in the group of trans women b/c We’re All Transgendereds, accuses trans women who continue focusing on other women of “dominating trans spaces” (always w/ that masculine coded verb), asserts that trans women only have control over such a space bc of Residual Male Privilege, claims that dissenting trans women are actually predatory men pretending to be trans women to secure access and control over Real Transgendereds*
trans women: *loneliness, fear, and naïveté compel us to welcome men into our spaces. support meetings slowly morph into parties for bros to take their t-shot together. women in the group become coerced into relationships with those men, which more often than not end up with her being abused and threatened with absolute isolation if she comes forward. women become pitted against one another by the men who need to keep the community in disarray to secure their position of power and authority.*
trans women: *leaves community they founded after having it turn into a slightly safer way to be ruthlessly exploited by men than the outside world. vows to devote self to only other trans women. implores other trans girls to focus on one another, and that men demanding you work together just want to make it easier for them to exploit you.*
cafab men: *accuses such trans women of being Problematic Transphobes, beseeches trans girls to hold fast to their men b/c they can’t achieve anything apart, continues sowing infighting amongst trans women and vilifying separatists while positioning themselves as our white knights to indefinitely maintain their access to and power over us. nothing ever gets accomplished beyond binder drives, top surgery fundraisers (for men), and endless stroking of males’ egos.*
“ohhh men aren’t allowed to cry” “men get no emotional support” “the only flowers men ever get are at their funerals” “no one compliments men on their outfits” no actually there are men who cry and are tender with each other and give each other flowers and compliments they’re just called faggots and you beat them to death if they try to associate with you
“Trans women are actually women for real, not in a metaphorical sense, not in a "anyone can be anything” sense, but genuinely actually make more taxonomic sense to classify in the category of women than any other group you could classify them in" is a position you’ll find is pretty radical even in queer spaces
I recently posed a question to my cis followers on Bsky about whether they could defend the idea that trans women are in fact women.
The overwhelming response was, while well-meaning, sorely disappointing and along the lines of “of course trans women are women, ‘woman’ is ultimately a meaningless category, you can be whatever you like”.
It was such a profoundly sobering experience because I realized that most people have framed their conception of trans rights around owning bigots and dunking on them in arguments instead of an affirmative understanding of trans marginalization, a comprehension of the struggles we face in a cissexist, patriarchal society, or even a basic familiarity with how we are seen and regarded and treated institutionally.
'Woman’ is not a meaningless category in a patriarchy. It is a positionality, one that trans women undoubtedly occupy, and most cis people–even allies, even the ones who believe they want to do right by us–do not fundamentally accept the premise that we actually inhabit this position and navigate society as women.
It’s an epistemic chasm I don’t quite know how to cross, which is unfortunate as I’ve inadvertently dedicated my life to doing so. Ascertaining just how wide that gap in understanding is was alarming, if necessary.
To cis readers, all I can say is that if you only think trans women can be women in a world where the word 'woman’ holds no meaning, you’re more aligned with the Gender-Conservative position on us than you think. You might want to unpack that.
Hey I set up one of these things here if you think what we’re up to deserves financial subsidy. It’s got stuff I need for work on it and also stuff I just want and also like. Groceries.
Check it out if ur feeling the seasons greasons spirit that’d be cool.
I added a bunch of like household stuff we rly need and like food etc if that’s something you’d be interested in 👍
No, that would also be a moderate position, because nearly all of it (except the “grant full citizenship” part, which would be implied by the rest of it) follows from the treaties which the US signed after WWII and the laws it passed to enact those treaties. If you’re just following the law as written you aren’t taking a radical position.
The creator of the lesbian flag, Emily Gwen, is currently unhoused and struggling financially while suffering to chronic and mental illness.
I have already contributed to her Kofi, and now I ask you to help, especially if you have ever used the lesbian flag. Even if you can’t donate, I urge you to share her Kofi around to reach more audiences
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