One of the things about becoming an adult and understanding where your parents were coming from a lot better, is that sometimes you can also follow that line of thinking back to where the miscommunications happened in the first place and do better with the younger people in your own life.
Like, it can be tempting to just leave it there. You understand now why Mom would get so exasperated with asking you to set the table, it's one little chore to help the whole dinner process run smoothly, especially at those hectic final stages of a family meal where everything is getting ready to serve.
Why didn't you understand this before? Well, because you didn't appreciate the work that was going into dinner. But don't stop there! Why didn't you appreciate it? Obviously you're not just the type to never empathize or get where other people are coming from, or else you wouldn't now be going, gee I understand Mom a lot better.
Stick with it and you might find that the problem was actually that Mom would just bark at you all in the chaos to get that table set, interrupting whatever other thing you were doing. She probably did that because she was distracted by all the other stuff she was doing, but from your own perspective you were just going about your own business and got this job thrust upon you with no warning and not even any politeness, making you sullen and resentful because no one likes to be treated that way.
From your adult perspective you might see where Mom was coming from and understand that she was just harried, but if you combine that with the child's perspective of not being communicated with like a person but instead barked at like a dog, you can go, hm, yes I see. I'll ask my kids to set the table before I'm at the chaotic final stages.
Then when your kids don't set the table because they have "plenty of time" and you end up hollering at them anyway, you can go, y'know, I told you to do this half an hour ago, and when they go yes but I got distracted, you can go this has happened the last twenty times what is going on with you, and they can go I don't know, and you can figure out that they have ADHD symptoms and get them a diagnosis and medication and then realize that actually you also have ADHD symptoms and so, in fact, did Mom, and wow that's an entire family curse you've just sort of unravelled! Good job!