9 snakes in a trenchcoat

thebibliosphere:

chocolate-mintdromeda:

thebibliosphere:

I booked myself in for a massage tomorrow with my physio lady cause my jaw and neck are all locked up from the dentist today and it makes you fill out a little questionnaire to better tell your PT what kind of treatment you need. except when I was filling it in I’d just taken a bunch of pain killers and words were hard but then I logged back in to make sure I’d actually booked it and

Reason for your visit?

What kind(s) of pain are you experiencing?

Special Requests

I shouldn’t be laughing, I feel awful, but I’m just imagining you addressing a person this way.

Don’t feel too bad, my physio lady was pissing herself laughing when I showed up. Everytime she tried to pull up my profile to talk about the appointment she’d devolve into hearty chuckling while apologizing continually for laughing at my expense.

And for anyone wondering she was able to ease a considerable amount of the pain. Even while occasionally breaking out into bouts of barely suppressed giggling.

When I’m not chronically online I’m an irl massage therapist and if a new client left that on their online intake form I admit I would be a little concerned but it would also definitely Make My Day.

(via johannestevans)

Pweaze big daddy govoment wet me pay my taxiewaxies 🥺👉👈 I cannot affowd da pebtalty pweazeee🥺🥺🥺 i am sewf-empwyoyed and neeeeed to pay my qwuatewy taxes by da 15th I just want 2 b a good boy and gib big guwument my widdle sewf-empyowed boi monie pweeeazzeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈👉👈👉🥺🥺👉👈👉

turnstileskyline:

turnstileskyline:

getbentdaily-deactivated2025122:

turnstileskyline:

you may think misogyny is good because it is made up of miso, which is delicious, and gyny, which is woman. and girl miso sounds great. but 👆 it is not girl miso

“Miso” is Greek for “hatred”. “Gyny” is Greek for “woman” Misogyny literally means “hatred of women”.

The word “misogyny” is always associated with the unnecessary hatred and abuse of women. No one ever thinks about this word in a positive light.

will you ever forgive me

jesus christ did i fucking kill them im sorry

nyaa:

This one scene has inspired so many imaginary AMVs for my blorbos, love to see it in the wild

(via johannestevans)

homosexualslug:

ALT

ALT

ALT

beautiful conversations happening on twitter

kaybonbon:

fawfulydoo:

a heem heem………………………………sshasagjkrhf………… ouhg……..

My husband found it necessary to get the thing for me and I love it.

Be sure to remember Sad™’s birthday next August.

(via songofsunset)

pronouncingitwang:

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, “hm, this doesn’t look thick enough. maybe i’ll let it go for another 10 minutes.” this is the devil speaking. it’s only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

Hibiscus roselle simple syrup, poured into a mason jar. I was never able to salvage either one.

(via thunderbottle)

paxamericana:

???

(via sputnickle)

bloedewir:

in-the-drowning-deep:

andrastes-strap-on:

Cassandra: the conclave is destroyed, the Divine is dead, there’s a giant rift in the sky with demons falling out, and we’re pretty sure you and your glowing hand are responsible

Inquisitor, who just woke up:

Solas: You have unleashed two elven gods onto the world, and they’re going to blight and potentially destroy all of Thedas.

Rook, who hasn’t even woken up yet:

Thedas: *broken and bleeding separated by the Veil, Elvhenan ruined, magic is weak, chatting with spirits and demons is some form of heresy now, and everyone’s talking about some rando guy named Creator*

Solas, regretting he ever woke up:

(via istillneedsleep)

tench-art:

We call it kirkwall fashion

Happy almost one year anniversary to the most important comic in the definitely still thriving and relevant DAI fandom