the auditory processing issues domme at its third "sorry, what?" while you're desperately trying to safeword

in cyberpunk tennis the net is made of lasers and if the ball hits the net it explodes into shrapnel

"Whoa nice, a backup camera¹!"

¹backup cameras have been mandatory for over half a decade

THEY HAVE??

only in the us and canada (around 2018). they were only made mandatory in europe in 2022, and that’s still not a thing in most every other country in the world.

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fell asleep on my keyboard sorry

Generational differences!

no your honor I absolutely can make my case like an adult. first things first, fuck the defendant and fuck his family too. secondly,

saw a post on here that made me genuinely ask myself, “wait, is fluttershy bourgeois?” i need to lie down

i'm so fucking over it

Oh so you'd rather use eugenics on animals and abuse them instead? 🙄

i was about to get violent then i saw the handle im crying

my breakfast sandwich just blasted thick ropes onto my keyboard fuck my life. She might as well be smoking a cigarette right now look at this

My new favorite genre of picture is a very special thing that most animals (and humans!) do: face nuzzling as an act of greeting/comfort/intimacy. thank God that this is happening all over the world right now

Isn’t it wonderful?!

had to continue the compilation:

"Date (Parts 1-4)"

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someone at the marketing department had a little too much fun with this

a challenger

We're making it so you can no longer have anime girl desktop backgrounds in Ubuntu.

Sayonara you weeaboo shits.

My specialty at work (eg, what I tend to get thrown into) is wrangling clever but extremely poorly behaved children. (The children are adolescent, but children nonetheless.) They tend to be boys. They tend to have ADHD. (It's possible that the focus on the clever rules out the ADHD girls, who have cleverly developed better masking skills by adolescence.)

The current bright and terrible-on-purpose disaster, A, is aware of the ADHD diagnosis but has apparently been told nothing about the disability. So a lot of our conversations go like this:

Me: Well, I'd ask you why you decided to start making richly detailed but extremely inappropriate jokes during class, but I'm pretty sure the answer is that someone started yelling at you for doing it before you realized that you were.

A, leaning backward, looking concerned: Are you following me?

Me: Yes, that's what I do with the spare time I don't have during the day, follow aggravating children around. We have so few of them here.

A, put out either because I've called him aggravating or because he's not special and aggravating: Sarcasm isn't very nice, Ms. T.

Me, sarcastically: I'm so sorry. Maybe you looked at the work first, thought boring, and then decided to be an enormous brat.

A: You can read minds?!

--

Me: Clearly we need executive dysfunction strategies for you, because if we don't get in front of it you'll be an adult who sits on their sofa for forty minutes yelling at herself to do the dishes and never does them.

A, trying to politely muffle laughter: Are you doing all right, Ms. T?

Me: Out of dishes, but fine. What's working in your classes? Your Literature grade is good, why are you doing the reading?

A looks left. Right. Up. At his phone.

Me: ... You aren't doing the reading, are you? The other kids ask questions because they don't understand it, and you figure out what it has to be about from the answers and never read.

A: Are you in my Lit class??

--

Me: Okay, look, ADHD brains are weird, and we tend to get them from our families, so these -

A, immediately: My dad.

Me, derailed from my drug interaction speech: Yeah, okay. When your dad has coffee, does he get calmer?

A, backing away: You're stalking my whole family now?!

"OR WOMEN IN GENERAL"???? HELLO

Reblog to bully people who don't like female characters or women in general off the internet.

I had a dream that Joe Biden kept trying to sneak back into the white house to become the president again and he had a variety of silly disguises like in one he was wearing a big moustache and top hat and introduced himself as Job Iden and tried to sell trump snake oil and trump was super interested until his moustache fell off and then JD vance was like "wait a minute.. that's joe biden!!" amd he was like "welp, gotta run, see ya later jack!" and then all the evil white house staff were shaking their heads cus joe biden almost sneaked into the white house and the newest aid was there and she was like "That was a close call, Mr President" and his new aide was actually kamala harris wearing a big cartoon wig and they were all too distracted by joe biden to notice