idk man i just think breed standards should be more about “hey so this is what a healthy dog’s back should look like”, “this is what a functional sled dog’s chest should be shaped like”, “this is the coat type a bird dog should have to keep warm in cold water” etc and not at all about “the dog needs to be APRICOT with NO WHITE SPOTS and FRIENDLY EYES or the judge will SHOOT YOU with a GUN so help me god”
so i took out the trash today like the good house husband i am not, leaving behind the rank smell of long forgotten noodles and the regrets of two people with memory issues
i, like any good tumblr citizen, remember the tales of the person who put two cups of vanilla extract in their oven so i did the sensible thing to get out two Caps of extract
just then, inspiration struck. a bolt of lightning straight from the muses themselves, if i could use vanilla extract…. who’s to say i couldn’t use other extracts?
i scoured the cabinets, i knew my partner had secreted away some illicit non-vanilla type extracts for baking, and i found it.
hidden in the back of the cabinet was a lone bottle of mint extract
i emptied my two caps with abandon into an (oven safe) glass dish and gleefully set the oven for 300 for an hour
all that was left now was to wait for the sins of the mind to be purged by the mighty mint leaf
ten minutes in… starting to smell kinda like a thin mint
fifteen minutes in, i take a nice deep breath of lovely scented air and i am greeted by searing burning minty pain
i launch myself towards the kitchen, every step closer to mint hell, every orifice on my face burning with the freezing righteous flame of menthol
im fumbling for the oven mitt to rid my home of this foul demon, i pry the oven open and am hit with a blast unlike anything else
i feel what that vine kid taking shots of mouthwash feels, i was seared raw, my tits were blown clean off, and it was just me and that devilish beguiling minty fresh taste
quickly dumping the rest into the sink i ran towards the door, begging for the sweet sweet smell of un-minted air
learning nothing from this encounter, i dare to try once more, with the tumblr-approved extract this time
wish me luck
update: the vanilla has finished cooking, it now very much smells like the pillsberry doughboy fucked a thin mint
this reply made me laugh harder than any reply I think I’ve ever gotten
How did they find the worst audio ever made
Yknow, I watched this without sound. And I saw “I hate you” as a reply, and assumed something awful happened at the end of the video. And then I scrolled down a bit further, and went back up, listened to the audio and I gotta say. I agree with found-sheep.
Watching this without volume and then turning it on is like a sucker punch
This post always disappears for just long enough to make me forget what the audio is and then returns to punch me again
So as some of you know, my car got stolen. They found it. I have to pay impound fees to get it back then cover repairs because my shitty insurance doesn’t actually cover anything. I also fell on ice and broke my phone (and me but only a little bit). Also my car is my second job and about 30% of my monthly income. So ive essentially lost that for right now. And I could use some help because its gonna be expensive and miserable and like I dont even have the energy to be angry anymore. Please lmk if you have questions
Do yalls doctors offer refills? Or do you have to get a new prescription EVERY month? That’s how mine is. And every month they fail to submit the prescription. I’m now out of my medication, and I’ve called every day this week. The prescription was supposed to be submitted on november 26 well before i ran out.
I had to jump through hoops with my prev doctor, too. Does anyone have a doctor they don’t have to do that with?
I have to have an appointment every 4 weeks and then they do this and give me the run around every time. I just want proper care and to not run out of my medicine 😪
So as some of you know, my car got stolen. They found it. I have to pay impound fees to get it back then cover repairs because my shitty insurance doesn’t actually cover anything. I also fell on ice and broke my phone (and me but only a little bit). Also my car is my second job and about 30% of my monthly income. So ive essentially lost that for right now. And I could use some help because its gonna be expensive and miserable and like I dont even have the energy to be angry anymore. Please lmk if you have questions
They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her
I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.
Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
