crossfaded off cheese and crackers

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

Otra víctima el Chupacabra

"this movie doesn't hold up bcos of dated special effects :(" to you, maybe. i would clap at a bat on a string

children are annoying but you have to forgive them. like they just got here

My “spicy bananas” moment was when my boyfriend recently had to explain to me that pineapple does not hurt to eat for most people bc while I knew abt the enzyme that can make your mouth raw if you eat too much I always just assumed “too much” meant like. Two bites for everyone else too which is apparently not the case

Additionally before I realized I was slightly allergic to pineapple I made a spiked slushy with some piña colada eegee’s at my friends bday party and raved abt how you couldn’t even taste the 3-4 shots I added and when my friends tried it they said it tasted like a nail salon so. Allergic reaction canceled out the taste of alcohol ig

i really do think that "let me in" is the most potently horrifying phrase ever conceived of. just let me in. that's all you have to do. just invite me inside. show me kindness. trust me. all you have to do is say yes. all you have to do is open the door. the rest is up to me. but you can trust me. have faith. you wouldn't leave me out here. you wouldn't turn away. not you. you aren't cruel. you're a good person. i can see that. i need your help. that's why i'm asking this of you. just let me in. let me in. let me in let me in letmeinletmeinletmein LET ME IN

i should learn how to levitate a copper sphere

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

God wanted all the possible kinds of good. I am here. I am a kind of good he thought was worthy of being created.

it should be socially acceptable to roll around on the ground groaning in pain . it wouldnt help get rid of the pain but i would feel a little better about it

Damnnnn I kinda need to die of carbon monoxide poisoning and then get cryogenically preserved and then have the company that preserved me go bankrupt and quietly dispose of my thawed body in a local culvert where I get eatennnnnn by some armadillos yes armadillos as their native habitat is expanding ever northwards

freak in the sheets as well as in most other locations

"I asked ChatGPT--"

Yeah well, I asked the wasps nest in my attic. It sang its answer so beautifully to me, but I am so very afraid of it. Perhaps it will soothe my itching soul...

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Sniffle... ermmm.. whimper.... bleah.. sob.....