take me to art museums and make out with me
But they said to not touch the masterpieces
Well somebody’s gotta pin the artwork to the wall
This is Johnson, those idiots are fucking in the east wing again.
I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS LEGENDARY POST IN SCREENSHOTS
Reblogging for the legendary Johnson, the security guard we didn’t deserve
can’t risk it
THIS PIECE OF PICTURE WORKS.
Gotta take all the chances…..
Never risk it
i had to
Need some good luck. Really do.
Why not haha
i only rb the positive ones, fuck the negative ones lmao
might as well
GIVME PLS
PLEASE
Might as well
🍀 Gimme dat luck bb 🍀
There's a post going around Tumblr about how if you're post-menopausal and have bleeding, you should get it checked by your doctor. I brought some minor bleeding I'd had up in a doctor visit earlier this year, prompted by that post, and this week, after a biopsy, I found out I have cancer. It's early stage and the survival odds at 5 years are 99%. I have an oncologist appointment and we may have caught it early enough that surgery alone will be sufficient treatment (no radiation/chemo).
So that post may have saved my life and it may have made my treatment a lot easier too.
If you get into menopause and then start bleeding again, really, get your reproductive innards checked out. The life you save may be your own.
Stop me if you hate the concept: short, fat, hairy lady gets isakai'd into a high fantasy, and instead of "oh look at all these ethereal elves woe for I am but a flawed mortal" routine she lands in Dwarf territory and is immediately revered as the most enchanting and desirable maid in all the land. This immediately becomes a zesty romantic drama. Thoughts
freaky little scavenger
note to self: do NOT double the chocolate chip cookie recipe. the mixer can’t handle it. I can’t handle it. my knees hurt. I’ve been rotating cookie sheets since I was born and I will be rotating cookie sheets until I die
help
The perfect reaction gif does not exi—
"oh you still use tumblr? can I see?" no. that's where I keep my demons
how do we feel about pathetic little purple Pikmin named Grape and it’s emotional support white Pikmin named Weevil… do we fw Grape and Weevil
Yeah so I failed not to make an au out of this enjoy my sad looking Pikmin. I gave Grape a stubby tail just for the purpose of having it wag when they’re happy. I’m actually so obsessed with Grape. Stressed out little guy someone give them a hug please
I'mma just leave this here as a reminder to check for the next part later.
Is it wrong to partake in certain religious activities because most/all your family does while you yourself follow a whole other religion/none at all without them knowing?
It's just so awkward. Most, if not all, don't know your beliefs are different from theirs, but you still feel forced to participate because you don't want to be interrogated or singled out.
So I learned two cool things about humans: Humans have stripes! Human skin is overlaid with what dermatologists call Blaschko’s Lines, a pattern of stripes covering the body from head to toe. The stripes run up and down your arms and legs and hug your torso. You cannot see them without special equipment as the difference between the stripe cells and the non-stripes are too subtle for human eyes to pick up. You will also notice them at if something irritates the skin, as rashes and moles can form along these invisible lines.
Humans are bio-luminescent! We glow in the dark. Natural chemical reactions in our cells let out some energy in the form of visible light. Unfortunately this light is very weak, about 1000 times weaker than the eye can see. Scientists still don’t know if there are animals capable of seeing this light in humans.
So, it gave me an idea, and I will be writing something on it, but I’m also eager to see where others would go with the idea: what if humans met a race that could see our stripes, or our glow, or both! My take on the idea will involve the aliens adoring these glowing stripy creatures. Humans, meanwhile, are really confused about why these aliens find us so much more attractive than the more colourful creatures out there. Their compliments would confuse us. We literally cannot see what makes us beautiful to them.
Anyone who wants to write this, feel free to go other places; love, hate, disgust, confusion. Any reaction from the humans, or aliens, can make a good story.
My mind went straight to alien war 😂 humans being so confused as to how these aliens can always seem to spot them in the night
Humans getting mad when their alien team doesn’t let them go anywhere at night when they go out to fight!
“Why the hell can’t I go out with you guys?”
“You’ll give away our position, Human-Mary.” Mary placed a hand on her hip and huffed. Human aggression. Or, at least, annoyance, Tucer had learned.
“I am not that noisy, Tucer!”
“It’s like shining a light beam for the enemy.”
“I’m sneaky enough for the daytime!”
“Well you do not glow in the daytime and your stripes camouflage you surprisingly well!” Mary froze, looking confused. Tucer huffed. Was Human-Mary so oblivious to the visual stimuli of her bioluminescence?
“I…glow?” Tucer sensed the rest of the group tense up and he exchanged a look with another alien in the group.
“You mean to tell me you do not know?”
“No. I can’t see it.” She looked defeated, perhaps finally seeing the futility of her anger at being left out. “So I’ve been putting you in danger when I go out at night without even knowing it?”
“It…would seem so.” A pause. Damn! What if this news put her in an emotionally unstable state! Think back to the care manuals! “But your stripes aid us in the daytime!” He said, mandibles stretching as he made an effort to replicate the human act of baring their teeth known as smiling.
“I have stripes, too?” His optical orifices widened. She couldn’t see those either?! What was the point of them, then?!
“Yes…?”
Human-Mary seemed to perk up very quickly. He almost forgot how drastically their moods changed. “Woah… That’s so awesome!”
The rest of the troupe left the camp, save a couple of ‘chaperones’ to make sure it wasn’t just the human. They never heard any more complaints about being left from the human-Mary, though Tucer in particular got bombarded by questions from Mary regarding her seemingly invisible traits for a long while afterwards.
Blaschko’s Lines are so cool
lmao the Tumblr algorithm thought my Blaschko’s Lines pictures were against guidelines.
If your answer to most of these questions is yes, 🥁
🎉CONGRATS🎉
You and I are now friends and are therefore 2+ people now eligible to start a cult where we frolic into the woods away from social scrutiny, adopt stray animals, and do circle dancing around a fire in the middle of the night.
First ritual starts tomorrow at 7:00pm, don't be late.
(Bring snacks)
Strange bugs.
I coloured ASL from this post about the Monkey siblings.
