Plus-sized insecurities
bf mx x plus-sized gn reader, non-idol au
hyung line – maknae line here
All of these are more or less the same conversation in a different context. Feel free to read all or just your fav members.
Fluff and comfort. Topics of weight, body size, exercise and insecurities related to those. Pet names.
Shownu / Hyunwoo
“Bye”, you yell out over your shoulder to Hyunwoo, who sits on the living room floor in the middle of a video game, “I’ll be back in and hour or so.”
“Bye”, Hyunwoo replies absentmindedly. When you grab the door handle, you hear his voice behind you again, “Wait, what?”
You sigh, but stop and turn around to face Hyunwoo, who hurries to the hallway in his loose tank top, messy hair and bare feet.
“Where are you going, babe?” Hyunwoo asks, eyeing your hoodie, sweatpants and the bag on your shoulder.
“The gym”, you mutter, avoiding his eyes.
“Oh!” Hyunwoo’s eyes light up, making your stomach twist. “Just give me a minute, I’ll go with you.”
“No”, you say, raising your hands in front of you to calm your boyfriend down, “I’ll manage, you get back to your game.”
Hyunwoo’s face drops, but he quickly picks his smile back up. He steps closer and plants a light kiss on your cheek. “Okay”, he speaks softly, “Just call me if you need anything.”
When you come back home, Hyunwoo is where you left him. He pauses the game, ready to get up and chat about your workout, but stops himself when he sees you.
You don’t even look at him, but walk straight to the bathroom. Through the door, Hyunwoo hears a few thuds, followed by a couple of swear words and the sound of a running shower.
Hyunwoo aches to ask you how it was, what you did and what got you in such a bad mood. However, when you walk out of the bathroom in your towel and beeline straight to the bedroom to get dressed, he decides to drop it and let you come to him.
“Any special plans for today?” Hyunwoo asks you during breakfast a few days later.
“No”, you reply, emptying your glass of orange juice.
“Maybe we could go to a spa?” Hyunwoo suggests, “I heard there’s a good one a few cities over. I could really use a hot tub and a steam room now.” He moves his arm up and down, winces and rubs his shoulder. “The workout yesterday really got to me.”
You watch him stretch his arms and sides. You try to stop your eyes from wandering to Hyunwoo’s flexing triceps and his abs revealed from under his shirt, but fail miserably.
“Yeah”, you reply. The flat tone in your voice makes Hyunwoo frown. You grab a banana and excuse yourself from the table. “Maybe we should go in the evening?” you suggest on the way to the bedroom, “I’ll go to the gym first.” Hyunwoo says nothing, and you start changing into your sportswear.
“Bye”, you yell out from the door, again. “Bye, love you”, Hyunwoo’s voice says back, and you walk out.
Hyunwoo cleans up after breakfast, takes a quick shower, and is lying on the couch scrolling his phone, when the front door opens.
“Babe?” he yells out. Instead of an answer, he hears footsteps and a slam of a door. He gets up, confused, and guesses you must have gone to the bedroom.
Hyunwoo finds you sitting on the floor, shoes still on, your gym bag open beside you.
“Babe?” Hyunwoo whispers, “Are you okay?” For a while, he just stares at your back and lowered head, before deciding to step in.
“I can see you’re not”, he speaks softly, walking to you, and sits on the floor as well, “What happened? Why are you back this early?”
“I’m so stupid”, you whisper, not particularly to anyone.
“You’re not”, Hyunwoo opposes, “Just talk to me.”
“I thought I could do it”, you continue.
“Do what?” Hyunwoo asks, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.
“I thought I could get into a routine, lose some weight, maybe gain some muscle…”
“I had no idea you were into that”, Hyunwoo says after a moment of silence.
“I’m not”, you spit out, turning to face him. You make a vague gesture at yourself and the equipment around you. “I fucking hate it.”
Hyunwoo swallows a laugh. Right now is not the time. He takes your hand and holds it in between his.
“Why did you start going, then?”
You scoff. The sound makes Hyunwoo feel like he has missed something major, but he cannot figure out what.
“I mean”, you begin, your tone harsher than you intended. You take a breath before continuing, “look at you.” You gesture towards Hyunwoo’s tall, muscular figure. “And look at me.”
Hyunwoo’s attitude starts to frustrate you. Anyone can see that he is fit, and you are… not. You two have not discussed it before, but it has been bothering you for a while now.
“Babe”, Hyunwoo whispers, hugging you tighter, “What are you talking about?”
You open your mouth, sharp words ready to get out, but Hyunwoo beats you to it.
“Don’t think you have to go to the gym because I do”, his soft voice speaks into your ear, “For me, it’s a habit, and I guess I like going, too.” He scoots closer to you, and moves his arms from your shoulders to your waist. “You are active in many other ways”, he continues, “The long walks with your friends, riding the bike to work every day and the dance lessons you just took up. As long as you’re healthy, your size doesn’t matter one bit.”
You stop to think, going through your daily and weekly schedules in your mind.
“And, for what it is worth”, Hyunwoo says, “in my eyes, you are nothing short of perfect.”
Minhyuk
“Awake yet, baby?” Minhyuk asks, stepping into the bedroom with two mugs of coffee.
“M-hm,” you reply, not bothering to move.
“I see”, Minhyuk says, the sound of mischief apparent in his voice. He climbs to the bed close to you and runs his fingers down your side. Your reaction is exactly what he expected. You turn around with a giggle, reaching for a spot behind his knee you know to be sensitive. He defends by wrapping his arms around you, attacking your stomach instead.
“Stop it!” you yell out, slapping his hand. Minhyuk pulls away immediately, startled by the sudden change.
“Sorry, baby” he says, his voice colored with concern. “I’m sorry. Can I hold you? No tickles, I promise.”
You nod, and he opens his arms for you, circling one behind your shoulders and one around your middle. He whispers a ‘love you’ and starts rubbing your clothed skin with his thumbs to soothe you. Instead, the gesture makes you tense.
“Baby?” Minhyuk speaks, moving his hands to hold your shoulders, a neutral ground. “I can tell there is something bothering you. If it’s something I did, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Just tell me, and we’ll figure it out.”
“It’s nothing you did”, you whisper, your tone suddenly weak, barely audible.
“What is it, then?” Minhyuk insists, “From my point of view, it seems like you are avoiding me. Why don’t you want me to touch you?”
“I have just been feeling off lately”, you begin, “I didn’t want you to notice…” You trail off, leaving Minhyuk even more confused than before.
“Notice what?” he asks. He adjusts your positions so that he can face you, but you turn away from him.
“I have been gaining a little extra on my stomach”, you speak. Your hands wrap around your middle, as if to hide what you were talking about. “On my thighs as well.” Your palms run down towards your knees and back. “And my arms, I think.” You cross your arms, placing your hands over your biceps.
For a minute, the room is silent. You hug yourself, still resisting to look at your boyfriend. He is eyeing you up and down, processing what you just said.
Minhyuk stands up, walks around the bed and sits back down right in front of you. He cups your face with his palms, lifting your chin so that your eyes meet his.
“Baby”, he speaks, slowly, softly. His heart aches, when he sees the doubt your eyes hold. “What on earth made you think this way?”
You let out a sound resembling a laugh, but the joy in it is replaced with disappointment. “You have been really into your workout routine, lately”, you start to speak, “I can see how the results give you more energy and confidence.” You grab his hands, holding them tightly in yours. “I love that for you, don’t get me wrong”, you continue, “I just didn’t think you’d appreciate me going the opposite way."
Minhyuk lets out a sigh, squeezing your hands before letting go. “Can I touch you?” he asks, and waits for a nod from you before placing his palms on your upper arms.
“These arms?” he speaks, his hands warm on your skin, “Perfect. Nothing is better than these arms holding me.”
“This stomach?” he continues, moving his hand to your sides, “Beautiful.”
“These thighs” Minhyuk runs his hands down tour hips and on your legs. “look goddamn amazing in shorts!” His words are rewarded with a smile from you, making his expression melt. He looks at you with sparkly eyes, smiling back at you.
“Come here”, Minhyuk says, lies down on the bed and opens his arms for you. You settle beside him, and he pulls a blanket over both of you. He plants small kisses whenever he can reach, pulling you flush to his chest. “Love you, baby”, he whispers.
“Love you more”, you reply, earning a little laugh from him.
Kihyun
“We are going to the climbing gym tomorrow and to grab a bite after”, Kihyun says, in the middle of doing the dishes, “and I – we all – would love it if you joined us.”
You stop with a plate in your hand, halfway between the dinner table and Kihyun. The excitement in his voice and his growing smile is adorable. Half of you melts in front of him, but the other half hesitates.
“We’ll just go bouldering, I will rent the shoes for you”, Kihyun continues laying out the plan, “and one of us knows a new BBQ place, it’s supposed to be good.”
Kihyun meets your eyes, and seems to read your mind, because he stops talking and his smile fades. “What do you think?” he asks, drying his hands with a towel and hesitantly touching your upper arm.
“It sounds like fun”, you begin, and your heart aches seeing the joy grow in Kihyun’s eyes again. “But I don’t know if we are ready to meet each other.”
Kihyun frowns, and his lips form a line. His eyes follow you as you drop the plate in the sink bedore turning back to him.
“Where is this coming from?” Kihyun asks, “I thought you wanted to meet them. Besides, I have told them everything about you, and they can’t wait to meet you in person!”
“Did you tell them I am big?” you blurt out.
“Huh?” You can almost see a huge question mark floating above your boyfriend’s head.
“Did you tell your friends I am overweight?” you repeat, “They are all your climbing buddies, so I am assuming they are… different.”
“I mean”, you begin, your tone harsher than you intended. God bless your boyfriend, smart and educated, yet so damn oblivious.
You rub your face with your hands, then make a vague gesture towards the man in front of you. “You are in a great shape”, you try again, “and I assume your friends are, too. What will they think if I show up at the climbing gym like this?”
Seconds tick by, when Kihyun just looks at you. His expression changes from confused to soft to a little sad. He takes a step towards you, leaning against the counter.
“You know I love you to the moon and back”, Kihyun speaks, his words slow and soft, “but have you lost your mind?” He grabs your face in his hands and looks straight in your eyes.
“Let me tell you what they will think. They will think you have the brightest smile, fun stories and great fashion sense. They will think you are smart and kind and you make me the happiest man in the world.”
At first, Kihyun’s words are loud, but the whole man softens in front of you, and in the end of his monologue, he is brushing your cheeks with his thumbs, his face mere inches from yours.
“I am sure they will see how much I love you, and realize there is not a single reason why they should not love you as well.”
As a full stop for his words, Kihyun presses his lips on yours, gentle but full of meaning. The kiss makes time stop and the world stand still. What matters right now is that every kiss his lips plant on yours, every sigh he breathes into your mouth and every circle his hands draw on your body, is another reminder of how much you mean to him.
