"Listen," one guard said, "I know we have only just met-"
"No," the other guard said, "we've worked together for years!"
"-but you can trust me when I say-"
"I can't, you have the curse that's opposite from mine!"
"I don't care for you at all."
"Well, I… oh… I love you too."
i dont make comics often but this was too cute.
in the spirit of showing some of my WIPs, I have this hiccup with blood on his hands. somebody was killed, but i'll let you decide who and how :)
they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"
It's not a cure but you have no idea how many times this image has helped me with my OCD
On sonic images that help with mental health, this one genuinely helped me more than i would like to admit
this one has legit helped so much with my mental and physical disabilities. Do you know how often some bullshit happens and I sigh and say "but we move"
🌾🌾🌾
Harvesting my wheat
Hehehehehe
Can I fucking help you?
my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her
What
What
I think there's a funny prank with mainstream shonen of the early 2000s where the older you get the more you realize Naruto has nothing to do with ninjas, One Piece has extremely little to do with pirates, and Fullmetal Alchemist knows everything about philosophical alchemy.
Danny hears somebody refer to his intangibility as 'density shifting' and he just pauses for a moment and goes 'Wait. If that's what this is- Could I do it the other way? Get like, MORE dense instead of less dense??'
Then later somebody tries to shoot at him, only to have the bullet literally fucking bounce off, and he just. Grins at them. And says 'Stop that. It tickles.'
And immediately gains like +1000 aura.
As I gaze at the structural column in Copley Station, cracked nearly in two and held together with zip ties that have been carefully painted over to match the column underneath, I feel my soul intertwined with that of a small Italian boy of days gone by, who also stopped to look up at a large, groaning, newly painted tank full of molasses
I feel that some non-Boston people think I may have been exaggerating this. While I did not snap a photo as I was on the train, someone else did several months ago. I do want to stress that this column is now freshly painted and therefore completely structurally sound and in absolutely no danger of causing the entire tunnel to collapse. And yes, it did in fact never cross my mind that the original post was nearly 105 years to the day of the Molassacre
This is so safe this is the safest I’ve ever felt good job mbta gold star
Happy Molassacre Day everybody I'm still alive
Because it's been a while, I must share with you the important update that the column is now hidden behind plywood, because the mbta believes in peekaboo rules of engineering
Justice League: Help us kill Darkseid.
Danny Phantom: no.
JL: what? Why?
Danny: I have yet to receive confirmation from the gods that this action will—*glowing green brick falls on his face, a small sticky note falling off*
JL:
Danny:
JL:
Danny: I have now received confirmation from the gods. I will help you.
He didn't even read the sticky note. He's just floating there staring straight ahead as if he didn't get thunked and makes no move to pick up the green sticky note
He didn't read the sticky note because he didn't need to. Clockwork has been recycling the same Sticky Note of Approval since the first time Danny stopped to ask himself whether or not Clockwork would approve of something post TUE. The sticky note in question is immediately recognizable at this point because it has been crumbled, torn, stained, etc but it is still "intact" enough to be used. What is written on it? Nothing but a small, hand drawn thumbs up emoji.
When you are brutally losing at chess implore your opponent to look inwards its called the little pony gambit
I can’t speak for other social media webbed sites but I really enjoy how tumblr seems to just completely spin a wheel on whatever media is hot right now. Like yeah sometimes it’s a new show that’s big and actively coming out but also sometimes there will be a solid month where half my dash is Columbo memes. Defy authority. Get really into an book from the 1800s. Watch shows that haven’t aired in 40 years. Celebrate the anniversary of the Boston Molasses Flood. Become unmarketable
oh shit i almost missed it!
Oh man, the Boston Molasses Flood.
Official Post of Massachusetts
as a smoker one of the fastest way i dissuade people from smoking is i go you know how your headaches suck. imagine a permanent headache that slowly gets more and more expensive to cure and also you cant stop coughing in the middle of all of this. yeah? this sucks.
i have said this before but end stage liver failure did not dissuade me from starting opiates. what dissuaded me was someone telling me "do you want to be itchy for the rest of your life? this is how you be itchy for the rest of your life."
people in the tags keep bringing things that are terminal, and i need you to understand some thing critical here. people do not conceptualise what they've not experienced properly and the 'inconvenient' side-effects come faster, and are far more likely than the Big Scary Ones. "dont start cocaine because your liver will fail" -- means nothing to me, have never experienced liver failure, also it takes forever for me to get to that stage. "do you want to know what cocaine shits are" -- paying attention, do not alter my shits habits.
Okay kids buckle up for the INSANE story I just heard from my little brother
**As a disclaimer my brother is a cis straight dude who only dates the most basic white girls you can find. He's very emotionally aware but doesn't linger on his emotions, just processes them and moves on (this is wild to me)**
He calls me on my break just to say hi, that he’s driving back to Denver from visiting his girlfriend, to which I respond “didn’t you break up with your girlfriend (of like a month) last month” and to which he says “yeah I have a new girlfriend, we’ve been together four weeks but I went up to spend the weekend and meet her friends” and I’m like ok great this is already ridiculous
So we’re chatting and I’m teasing him about how he doesn’t sleep with people on first dates and he says that he’s changed his policy, it’s just that he won’t have sex with them if he’d rather be doing something else, so I joke that I’ve had that where I’d rather be watching the show Chernobyl (true) and he says “yeah or watching a movie with my housemate” and I say hey bud that’s kind of gay and he says yeah I actually had a weird gay moment last night
And I go oh???? And he goes yeah, I was at the bar with the girlfriend and some of her friends and one of them was a guy and we were hitting it off, doing a little flirting as you do with your bros at the bar~
And then my cis straight brother goes on to explain that sometimes when you’re out with the homies and you’re having a good time and the vibes are right you just give em a little kiss, like just a kiss on the mouth between bros, “no tongue or anything like that but just to express that you’re close and having a good time”
I’m like “My dude that’s not a thing” and he’s like “between confident straight men it is” and I’m like “NO IT’S NOT"
So there we’ve got my brother having casual queerplatonic relationships with his homies at the bar, and he’s telling me this and I’m obviously speechless, so he goes on and he’s like “so because this guy and I were hitting it off I go in for a little kiss and he fucking swerves me” and I’m like yes my guy but because my brother is actually very good with respecting boundaries he was like “ok man great communication, won’t do it again"
BUT
Apparently my brother and the dude and my brother's GIRLFRIEND who has been there the WHOLE TIME go outside (I assume to have a cigarette but he didn’t tell me that part) and the guy turns to my brother and is like “man I should have kissed you when you offered it” and my brother is like “cool good shit man” like in the most bro way possible and then the guy grabs his face between his hands and just PLANTS a big one on his mouth
And THEN the guy panics and shoves him down on the ground!! And my brother has the normal reaction to being shoved on the ground unexpectedly which is to say “what the FUCK” and the girlfriend says “what the FUCK” and the guy goes “what the FUCK” and leaves
And my brother ended the story there and was musing on it like "this guy obviously has some complexes to work through about his sexuality, no confident straight man kisses another confident straight man and then panics and runs away”
Which took me out at the KNEES lol
And that, dear readers, is the batshit story my brother told me!
OH MY GOD AND
AND
I told my coworker this and they were like I’m actually shipping him and his roommate and I was like HUH because I hadn't considered that and then later my brother sent me a photo of his housemate wearing sexy handcuffs
my dad (Maori) works on a ship with all Maori/Tongan/Samoan fisherman- and one Aussie guy called Jake.
And that wasn't done on purpose just sort of how it ended up, but Jake recently got an injury so they put him on a Different boat just for a little bit (a sit in the wheelhouse and scout type of boat, instead of the main fishing one) and he only got back to my dad's ship today and he was apparently like Shaking. He was Traumatised.
Dad said Jake kept pulling him aside and going "They were all yelling on there, but in a MEAN way" "They didn't clean... Like at ALL"
Jake experienced what a boat full of old school Aussie fisherman is like. That is the norm Jake. You just happened to be on the all Island boy boat on your first go out. "It was time for dinner and they had FROZEN nuggets" Jake that's what they have on ships that are out at sea for months at a time.
On my dad's boat they are eating fresh fish and coconut milk Ceviche. They're grilling steaks on an open bbq on the deck that probably is not regulation. All the guys have their own special knives to prepare sashimi every couple days. Everyone is happily doing their own work so they can clock out early and set up a movie on the deck. Jake did you genuinely believe that's what every boat was doing.
Local Australian man is fed fresh juices and smoked fish for first time- refuses to go back to beef jerky boat life
jake that first night when they served a freezer tray tv dinner and not an overflowing plate of fish that's probably going for conservatively like $40-$80 bucks a kilo but the guys decided Eh we'll catch more let's just fry it up:
