"that's right, your majesty! You are in dire need of a new freezer... Do not concern yourself with the large cardboard container in which it shall be delivered! Just let your lowly advisor take care of that..."

Good news! Elementary schoolers of the modern day still believe this is part of vanilla minecraft. I have borne firsthand witness to these discussions.

the folkloric gate to heaven requires journeying to hell to get its building material

yo what's the handle of the fancy calligraphy guy can we get them over here that's a line

@theshitpostcalligrapher

oh good i needed a warmup piece

#listen i dont mean to be that guy but#you can make glowstone by using glowstone dust#and witches drop glowstone dust#no hell needed

buddy not to be a ridiculous nerd about it but you realize that seeking out dark magic users to kill them and pry potion ingredients out of their dead, cold hands isn't exactly non-hellish behavior? maybe the journey to hell is internal idk your playstyle

BABA IS ARO AND ACE

NooOOO

Those appear to be bird tracks rather than bunny tracks! Ergo, it was a bird hopping and then taking off, not a bunny getting taken away!

oh my god thank you phoenix wright

yeah those aren’t bunny tracks.

Forgive my sceptism, but why would a bird with a supposedly wide wingspan hop around in the snow in the first place when tree branches would suffice in the beginning?

Feel free to explain that.

I’ll be real I don’t know much about Phoenix Wright. But! I do know a lot about birds.

The mighty ptarmagin! Practically a feathered rabbit, these magnificent creatures are built for the snow.

Look at those boots! Wonderfully feathered. They spend most of their time as little snow lumps.

In fact, they’re very well known for the above phenomenon.

These ptarmagin trails are a pretty common sight!

Reblog for the little snow lumps ✨

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

not a female 👍

pause everybody take notes. real trans ally

"40,000" is the amount of bunnies there are!

the existence of "maybe", "perhaps", "perchance", and "mayhaps" suggests there should also be "maychance" and "perbe"

CAN WE MAYCHANCE NOT 😭

Perbe you should have thought about the consequences before posting a linguistic banger

sorry this is the funniest thing i've ever read

In Rimworld my top surgeon just failed to give a guy a peg leg four times in a row. So that's how my day is going.

Well no shit they can't give a guy a peg leg that's not top surgery at all

In a great tumblr tradition, I have decided to rank the "woman scientist" emojis by various companies.

Apple:

I am concerned by the fact that the green liquid in the ehrlenmeyer flask is clearly producing some sort of gas, but she is only wearing splash glasses. This looks like safety goggle work. Her hair is definitely long enough to be pulled back. The chemical here is "generic green" colored, which is a solid choice, if rare in real life. Please increase your degree of lab safety! 4/10

Google:

she's wearing proper goggles! Unfortunately, her hair is much longer, and definitely needs to be tied back. Also, she should not hold her weird purple liquid in such an unnatural way; she might drop it. I can't tell if her labcoat is buttoned. We see here the liquid is "generic purple," and it is in a very confusing piece of glassware. The bottom is shaped like an ehrlenmeyer flask but it has a very long neck and the ticks go all the way up the next like it's a graduated cylinder. I have never seen a piece of glassware like this. Why is it this shape why is her hand like that 2/10.

Samsung:

This woman definitely looks more like a scientist. She is older, wiser. She is not wearing any eye protection at all. Blue is an odd choice for a generic chemical color (although it does match her tshirt), but the ehrlenmeyer flask looks normal again. I think her labcoat is too big -- I suspect she is facing the structural sexism towards people with larger hips and busts in labcoat sizing. I hope she puts eye protection on soon. I hope her lab increases her salary. 6/10.

Microsoft:

This woman might have hair that is short enough and structured enough that she doesn't really need to pull it back, and she is wearing safety goggles! However, her lab coat is open. Her generic green liquid appears to be in a graduated cylinder and is over the top measurement mark, which means she doesn't know how much she has. She seems enthusiastic, but I think she is not as educated as she thinks. This woman is performing science without understanding it 3/10.

Twitter:

Her hair is short, her labcoat is buttoned, her purple chemical is giving off purple gas in a test tube, and she's wearing goggles. This is a quality assurance professional chemist, I think. She is about to put that test tube in a fume hood. I do not fear for her safety. This is a professional. 9/10.

Facebook:

the splash glasses are back! Now with purple test tube like the previous woman. This is the previous person's coworker who insists it's fine to not be as safe. Her expression shows me she is considering throwing that test tube. I fear for her. At least her lab coat is buttoned 1/10.

I think something is missing from this analysis. Clearly, most of these are MAD scientists, especially Google, Microsoft and Facebook. Look at those facial expressions, they're getting ready to either drink that mysterious liquid or weaponize it.

#coquette #femalemanipulator #girl

birding tip! when you see a bird. smile :)

spent MONTHS looking for this stupid tumblr post bcuz i constantly want to reference it and it wouldn't come up no matter what i searched despite it being (what i thought) was a popular well-known tumblr post only to find that the original blog turned off reblogs and deactivated and that it only got 12k notes total. but im posting it anyway to preserve its legacy

New Years is a time to reflect on all the dogs and cats we’ve seen this year, and to look forward to all the dogs and cats we’ll see in the year to come

SANS IS NONBINARY?!

HUH?!

UPDATE

Sector 74.5 reports an uptick in shadow puppet shenanigans.