Long magical girl transformation and the whole audience is so excited to see how I will subvert it, but in the end I just look like a normal magical girl and they're all booing me because I didn't subvert the genre and I'm crying because I just wanted to be a normal magical girl

i made this post to make fun of irony poisoned people who have to subvert everything, but this is literally just what being a trans woman is like

i've had this queued for an entire year, the most important holiday we celebrate here in boston HAPPY GREAT MOLASSES FLOOD DAY EVERYBODY

Why is no one doing anything abt this?

i love 'bumfuck' as an intensifier

Middle of bumfuck nowhere....... cus Yeah we're really lost... anal sex style 😞

the world famous detective is a real and endangered species and the only one left in the wild is hbomberguy

agent 47. your target is little timmy bippins. he is five years old. he kicked over my awesome sand castle at the beach last week. bean his dumb apple sauce skull with your dual pistols 47. mush him 47, extremely serious: Okey.

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

there's always some bullshit happening on reddit

using the traffic light system during a kink scene but shaking my head the entire time so the audience knows i dont support car-dependant infrastructure and its influence on the common vocabulary

ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk

the guy also like thinks everyone knows bc he never tries to hide the fact that the hawk is a person but everyone assumes hes always just joking. like the others being like "damn its crazy how he knows exactly what you want him to do its like he knows english or something." and the guy is just like "well yeah thats his first language so ofc he's fluent??" and they all go "haha good one" and move on, leaving him confused

they just think hes a quirky guy that really loves his pet and says things like "the 9 of us" even tho there are clearly only 8 people! he just cares about the bird so much he counts it as a group member haha !

whoever came up with this is not good at mnemonics

This tweet is almost 3 years old has been relevant since the day it was posted

New mahjong strat

terrible website feature that came to me in a dream