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leaves may fall on the sleeping ground

@llycaons

but the wind sweeps them away

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cor || late 20s || white || she/her tme bi || autistic || 18 + || reactionaries/terfs/zionists blocked on sight || carrd Donate for Palestine: general aid tag - Communal funds: The Sameer Project / Gaza Soup Kitchen / Care for Gaza / Crips for eSims / Life For Gaza (water municipality project) / Youth Union of the PCP - Individual families: Vetted Evacuation Fundraiser list / GazaVetter's list / Gaza Funds Spotlight Campaign / vetted campaigns from my own inbox Donate for Sudan: Sudan Funds / Darfur Women Action Group (DWAG) / Sudanese American Medical Association (SAMA) / Sudanese American Physicians Association (SAPA) / Sudanese Diaspora Network (SDN) / Sudanese Red Crescent Society (SRCS)
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and I struggle a great deal with the pacing of most cdramas bc I lose focus so quickly but despite a few slow arcs I did happily prevail. granted it did take me about five months to watch but it was only bc I didn't feel urgency, not bc I hated each episode and had to talk myself into watching it

the double is SO good tho like it's about a woman horribly wronged and left for dead by her husband who takes on the identity of the (abandoned) woman who saved her and then died, and then re-enters society to enact revenge for both herself AND the woman who's identity she took on...the drama is so good she has to think on her feet SO much and lie and make quick decisions and act so well and BE this woman and try to free herself from the various institutions and plots her stepmother and other relatives wind around her in order to bring her down...the love interest is rly hot too lol aside from the unfortunate cop tendencies I really like them together I think their dynamic is SO good and they've got great chemistry. it's not perfect - some of the plot beats are dumb, some of the characters cruelly killed off or treated poorly, the ending was a bit of a mess - but overall it's genuinely one of the best dramas I've ever seen and one of those dramas that feels like it's About women while still having a lot of action. oh fuck this was supposed to be a quick post. PLEASE give the double a try 🥺 just the first episode 🥺🥺🥺

interest in outlander is waning but I HAVE been wanting to rewatch the double ever since I finished it the first time and the female lead is someone I love even more than claire sorry claire ilu. and the male lead is hotter than jamie quite frankly even if he IS a cop who arrests and tortures people a little. so politically it doesn't rank higher but despite not actually having any explicit scenes I found the romance and eroticism so much more powerful and compelling...and while the threat of sexual violence is still present in a lot of scenes in the double, it doesn't feel like an ever-present, suffocating threat looming over the female lead that's also About the male lead (because he has to save her from it)

and honestly I got so sick of all the sexual harassment in outlander. not a single historical drama I've ever seen has been that extreme about it. and it all got so boring after a while too! like get another thing to do!

the double occasionally uses those threats for drama too, but it's also a thoughtful exploration of other manifestations of misogyny besides direct sexual violence. and it has other women! outlander has like, two women! xl's story is about that, but moreso about a controlling and abusive husband, about trying to find justice and live her own life outside of him, and about a culture that ruins women's lives based on their reputation. the real xue fangfei was expelled from her home at a young age and died a horrible, tragic death because of her accidental slight to an unborn brother. and the only reason wanning is a villain is because of her years of sexual exploitation and abuse at the hands of the political enemies her family delivered her to

the story is still fairly limited in its explorations of misogyny to be sure, and its context and especially conclusions are still traditional if not outright conservative, but it's still sincere and genuine about these female characters' interiority in ways I connected with and found very gratifying. xl and duke su's relationship is a genuinely really interesting one to me of intellectual equals engaged in their seperate but intersecting games of cat and mouse slash revenge slash mystery solving. and I really like seeing their chemistry as they get to know each other better, become closer, use each other, etc. and yeah I do think two people deciding to get married because they love each other and want to live together makes for a better love story than being forced into it due to circumstances 😭 there were parts of their relationship that I found unsatisfying towards the end but that was not one of them

she is literally right

[Photo ID: A comment on this post reading "arching the back during sex is a stereotypical involuntary pleasure response of cis women. If he wants to see his girlfriend express pleasure, then why is he not simply a more generous lover? Men ask for performances such as arching the back, curling the toes, moaning, crossed eyes etc because they want the ego boost of "being good at sex," but they're not willing to put in actual work to make straight sex enjoyable for women. According to the BBC, a 2017 study found that straight women report the lowest percentage of climax during sex at 65%, behind every other demographic surveyed. By contrast, straight men report the highest, at 95%. Why do men, who statistically receive the most satisfaction from straight sex, impose so many demands for extra labor on their partners? Why must straight women, who rarely even get to cum, perform as though they are cumming? Why must straight women shave their entire bodies, wear tiny uncomfortable clothes, moan and contort themselves, for a person whose enjoyment is already practically assured? For a person who can't even be bothered to do the minimal work of returning the favor? Straight sex comes across less as actual lovemaking and more like a masturbatory practice in which men use women's bodies like fleshlights. Forgive straight women if they are perhaps fed up. Mistreated people sometimes indulge in rude language as an outlet." End ID]

Today in Oscar Catchups I'm watching musicals. Wicked and A Complete Unknown. The only nominated musicals. Nothing else

Wicked is about an interracial college lesbian relationship that falls apart when the Black* woman becomes a communist and the white woman gets an internship at Lockheed Martin. (except also the CEO of Lockheed Martin is the Black woman's dad and she technically turned down the internship first)

Elphaba is radicalized in college after overcoming her self-hatred by having professors of color* and studying disability politics for her sister and getting in on an insane scholarship ride while Glinda is a legacy admission and their first argument is Glinda trying to argue that Elphaba is actually more privileged than her because she doesn't have to pay for uni while technically Glinda does

Glinda tops but she's awful at it and is super self-conscious about it so she pretends to be a pillow princess. But deep down she knows she'd be happy topping but, and again this is critical, she's terrible at it. She knows it. Elphaba is a bottom but in her first two years of uni she gets too deep in the weeds of left-wing theory and starts agonizing about whether it's Problematic of her to bottom because of the complex dynamics of her race and gender and then someone finally forces her to smoke weed in junior year and suddenly she's like "Wait all of that is stupid" so she's fine again

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they put me in a fucking LIVER now?

honestly. it was fine. the thing about livers is

1. they're big, but there's not many different surgeons so the surgeries always have the exact same supplies and go the same way every time. the scrub person is specially trained and knows everything about the sets and supplies, so you don't need to worry about that piece. and there's a ton of resources on the computer for us to check. and they always take AGES to get situated after being put to sleep

2. back when I was in training, I was put in many of these, many days in a row, with the assumption that I'd be doing them a lot, and I got to not only get the sense of the flow of the case and take excruciatingly meticulous notes, I got to really get to know the team and develop good relationships with them

so I had a lot to do, but a lot of of help, a lot of resources, and a lot of downtime. and also I called the coordinator like four times lol

it's still baffling to the point of comedic that ppl really think, so ASSUME, that all the immune are going to move to carol's cul-de-sac in Albuquerque, New Mexico and bicker charmingly and fall in love while they figure out how to save the world. so inundated with marvel and fanfic-style slop they don't even realize what kind of show pluribus is or what kinds of people are being depicted

with the way that economic sanctions predictably kill people, they should be viewed as weapons of war, like indiscriminate bombing campaigns. they're usually less dramatic on the news than bombs and special forces raids, making them easier to ignore, but they don't destroy lives and stop society functioning normally any less for that

when your country is cut off from trade, banking, and its own foreign reserves, its currency usually collapses. prices go up fast but wages don’t. food, utilities, rent, and medicine all become more expensive at the same time. if you're already living close to the edge, you end up skipping meals, delaying medical care, and choosing between heating and eating

healthcare is another major place you're going to get screwed over. even when sanctions technically allow medical goods through, hospitals often still struggle to get what they need. banks and payment processors refuse to put payments through, shipping companies don't want to deliver to your ports, and now there's much less money available to buy supplies. so spare parts never arrive. clinics run out of basic medicines. machines break and can’t be repaired. your chronic illness that's normally manageable becomes life threatening or much more disabling, and emergency care becomes less reliable. so more people die from conditions that, in other circumstances, wouldn't have been fatal

sanctions also damage the systems around healthcare that people don’t always think about. power cuts affect hospitals and refrigeration for medicines. when you can't import treatment chemicals or replacement parts, clean water systems fail. transport problems make it harder for you to reach care at all, especially for people in rural areas. all these things add up to kill people prematurely, and the people who suffer and die the most are the ones in the most precarious positions

a paper in the Lancet estimates that sanctions kill 564,000 people every year. it's like the US and its imperial core allies nuke a mid sized city in the developing world each year, and yet sanctions are often framed as peaceful alternatives to war. economic sanctions are weapons of war

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