whatever was happening to kou minamoto during the severance

Unpopular opinion, but it's criminal to me how the fandom often reduces Hua Cheng to his drawings by making him an art major or a painter or yada yada... When this man's only interest beside Xie Lian has been canonically archeology.

Like his art is an extension of his interest on Xie Lian. But archeology? "Yeah I got bored so I excavated an entire city smothered in ashes, studied their culture and learned to read their language even though I couldn't hear anyone speak it." You're gonna tell me he doesn't like doing anything else beside art with this? Heck, I'd even argue that the fact he mostly does religious imagery of Xie Lian is part of his true calling which is archeology.

Also please how funny would it be in modern AUs when he has to go on trips for his job and he's just sad because he wants to bring Xie Lian with him, but Xie Lian has a fencing competition to come and his association voluntary work. Or if he tries to complain about work and Xie Lian is like "Oh it's that antique thing right?" and Hua Cheng has tears in his eyes trying to stay sane like "It's actually early Han dynasty which is..." and then monologue for an hour.

Also it explains why he survives Xie Lian's food. "You're an archeologist? Ha! I bet you've eaten a mummy once." "I haven't but I did eat a piece of cheese and some preserved pastries from the Qin dynasty once." "What." "What?"

Like you're really telling me this man right here would draw anything else beside Xie Lian? And make money out of only drawing Xie Lian that he would sell?? I mean maybe he could but he wouldn't. Meanwhile archeology is just as unstable of a job and a lot more funnier.

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

Bro the rules of gay chicken aren't even that complicated how are you losing this badly

Shoutouts to Lan Xichen, who just spends the final chapters having the worst day of his life in like five different ways. FIRST he gets kidnapped by his situationship and dragged along to go corpse hunting because????? He likes you and wants you to be there when things break bad and he inevitably has to flee the country: just him, you, and the rotting body he is trying to dig up. Okay. Awesome. Don't know how this is going to shake out.

And THEN your brother's situationship crashes the party, and there's a lot of complicated feelings there, this is the man your brother has absolutely destroyed his life over, this man has caused your brother two decades of pain and suffering as you've had to watch him slowly tear himself apart with grief. Also your brother really desperately wants to sleep with this guy. So. There's that. Also he is just. Visibly covered in hickeys.

And THEN your brother's situationship accidentally lets slip that he's NOT sleeping with your brother and DOESN'T know that your brother is madly in love with him and literally everyone in the building (including your trusted and beloved situationship) has to stop what they're doing and ponder this fundamental flaw in the universe. You are so blinded by rage you temporarily have to play couple's counselor and simultaneously tear this guy a new one for daring to put your little brother through all this grief and not even having the decency to be aware of it. And you're still a hostage (maybe?)

ANYWAYS, then the little brother in question shows up and he also looks like he's having one of the worst days of his life (Worst days of his life #1-#4 also involve his situationship. You know this for a fact.) and your situationship threatens to kill his situationship, which would absolutely skyrocket this from The Fifth Worst Day Of His Life to Numero Uno Worst Day Of His Life.

And THEN the guy being held at knifepoint (stringpoint? Semantics.) takes a deep breath and loudly proclaims to everyone assembled that he DOES want to fuck your brother. He waits a beat. He looks ready to repeat himself.

You stop him.

All of you get shuffled into a further hostage holding area and told to sit tight so you have to sit there and pretend not to overhear your brother and his situationship have an extremely deep and emotional conversation and also talk about all the awesome sex they're going to have if they survive this.

FINALLY you are saved from your agonies by your situationship almost dying and fully revealing himself as a for real villain, which hits like a knife to the heart because you loved him, you thought you could trust him, but you have your principles and you have to stick by them. It's what your other (dead) situationship would have wanted.

ONLY THEN FOR YOUR OTHER (DEAD) SITUATIONSHIP TO SHOW UP.

Your dead situationship is trying to make your other sitautionship also dead and the problem is your dead situationship is really, really good at making things be dead. Actually that's only one of the problems. You have a lot of problems.

For example, you have this problem where you are also really really good at making things be dead and you end up running your sword through your situationship's gut. And with his dying breaths, he tries to drag you with him. Finally, all three of you can be together. One big, happy (extremely dead) situationship.

Except he changes his mind. At the last possible moment. You're alive. And now you have two dead situationships and a box you have to bury and your brother is gone (presumably off to go have gay and epic sex) and you now have to go home and explain this entire thing to everyone and maybe go scream into a pillow and spend the rest of your life contemplating if love was why he tried to kill you or if love was why he saved you. And it's still only Thursday.

Wei Wuxian: Yeah I probably sound soooo evil living in a place called "The Demon Quelling Cave" but I actually call it that because it's where I go to bed! And since I'm a demon, when I'm asleep I am "quelled", ya'know? It's a little joke haha :)

Lan Zhan: I see. And the so-called "Pool of Blood"?

Wei Wuxian: Yeah we keep the pool of blood right over here.

[Outside the Guanyin Temple]

Jin Guangyao, holding a guqin string around Wei Wuxian's neck: I’m going to kill your husband!

Lan Wangji: My what?

Jin Guangyao, tightening the guqin string: The Yiling Patriarch.

Lan Wangji: He’s not my husband.

Jin Guangyao: WHY NOT?!

pov: ur xie lian n ur woken up at midnight to a stranger bumbling about ur shrine, stuffing ur donation box w his unwanted gold bars n eating the food offerings u put out (hes abt to be knocked out from said food any second now)

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i think a wu ming with ears that he cant control would do a lot for xie lian (especially if he was allowed to grab and pinch them)

Xie Lian really said “red string of friendship”