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Nothing 🌌

@lucias-lightside

A volte mi sento invisibile, come se in questa realtà non ci fossi davvero. Non sono che un fantasma nella vita degli altri. Un'esistenza vissuta nell'atto del fare, nel procinto, nell'intenzione; una vita di piccole scintille mai trasformate in fiamme destinate a perire sgretolandosi lentamente come cera di candele. Questo è Nothing, l'angolo ancora luminoso di Lucia
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert

The purpose of life is to get really into stories that drive you so crazy you sometimes feel the need to throw up from how much you love them

I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.

Your life starts when you're ready to embrace it and yourself fully, there's no age limit. Take your time to get there, make mistakes in the process... there's nothing wrong when you learn about your needs, wants, beliefs and find out how to reach them. There's nothing wrong also if they (you) change while you're at it. It's up to you. And even if it may sound scary and you may want to run away from all this, you have the ability and courage to make it, and you'll prolly realize in the weirdest and suddenest possible way. Just trust your real self and try to take it slow and enjoy the process, as beautifully said above.

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

It’s crazy and fucked up that being yourself is actually the solution.

It’s like. When I was told to “just be yourself” as a kid I thought it was a passive thing. Like oh easy I just have to sit here and be myself. but the reason so many people think that “being yourself” is bullshit advice is because you actually have to make active choices to do this and it WILL make your life way more fun. You have to wear t-shirts of bands that were popular ten years ago because you like them. You have to do your hair in a way that you find cute or comfortable even if it’s “so nineties”. If your friend says a food you enjoy is gross to them, you can’t be afraid to admit you casually disagree. You have to do hobbies that you’re interested in even if you’re bad at them and you cant feel like you have to get good at something before you tell people it’s an activity you do. You have to read manga and comic books in public and get piercings your relatives think are unattractive. You don’t have to tell people you dislike that you dislike them, but you don’t have to give them your time and attention either. You have to rewatch that kids show you’re nostalgic for even if you’re in your 30s. You have to change your name if you hate it, even if only a few close friends can know. You have to get fun girly drinks at the bar. You have to order hot chocolate when you don’t like coffee and black coffee when you don’t like sweet things. I am still bad at practicing this but it is the only way to make it all tolerable.

First you have to realize that "yourself" is a construct built by the decisions you make. Then it becomes clear that being yourself is a deliberate and intentional practice, not a passive state of existence.

(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms

Love the tags!

My lecturer has repeatedly told us: you have to learn to sit with your discomfort.

You have to do the hard, new, different thing, and slog through until it becomes neutral. This is how we grow.

La gabbia in cui abito

Me la sono creata da sola

Privandomi mano a mano delle cose che mi mettevano più ansia,

Smettendo di fare ciò che ora ho scoperto

Fa parte del vivere.

Ho smesso di voler esistere attivamente

Da anni ormai

E ora che una piccola parte di me sembra voler cambiare le cose

Ogni passo mi sembra impossibile,

inutile

Uscirò prima o poi?

Not every day has to count. Some days are for repairing, resting, mourning. You don't have to perform every day. Some days are for doing nothing. For sleeping all day or being on your phone. Relaxing is ok, allowed and encouraged. Do what you need to do.

hot girl summer but its me taking care of my emotional health, spending time under the sun, reading more, finding new things that make me happy, doing things that bring out good versions of myself

"Uno, nessuno e centomila" I. Mia moglie e il mio naso, L. Pirandello

Se sparissi domani,

Non avrei perso molto.

Passo le giornate coltivando il nulla

Troppo impaurita di vivere troppo,

Di perdere troppo.

Quindi allontano le persone,

Allontano le passioni e le ambizioni per il futuro

Ché questo nella mia testa non esiste neanche per pianificazione

O per sogno.

Nel passato vive tutto ciò che avrei potuto essere oggi.

Se domani lasciassi questa Terra,

Non avrò perso niente,

Ché niente sembra avere davvero importanza:

Tutto è un seguire passivamente il corso dell'esistenza.

Quando penso che nessuno, alla fine, potrà davvero ricordarmi

Sono contenta perché i miei errori non saranno più un problema,

Sono inquieta perché a questa terra non avrò lasciato qualcosa di significativo

Neanche alle poche persone che ho accanto

Troppo impegnata a risparmiare emozioni ed occasioni

Per un tempo che, in fondo, non voglio che arrivi.

Sto bene nella nullità. Non so fare altrimenti.

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