motherfucker unlimited

you like that? I got more, how bout the SS Bessemer

This experimental piece o' shit, courtesy of Sir Henry Bessemer, had a stabilized cabin meant to combat seasickness. Unfortunately, due to the kinetic consequences of building a ship like that, it also combatted seaworthiness, and the instant this thing touched water it enthusiastically slammed itself into the pier with all the grace of a twelfth round boxer.

Not to be deterred, Bessemer repaired the ship, hired a veteran sea captain, slapped the stern and sent her out for a second go. The ship then proceeded to crash into the Same Fucking Pier even harder, demolishing it.

The SS Bessemer, her bloodlust satiated, retired from the cruise ship life and settled down in Swanley, where she became a billiard room, and then a lecture hall, and then rubble, due to an encounter with bombs.

This one's for the SS Bessemer. Rest in peace you wild bitch.

Oh man, let me introduce you to the Vitze-Admiral Popov:

At least that would fall under the advice my grandmother gave me - never buy a kitchen gadget that only does one thing.

Just the slow cooker only does "one thing" in the same way that a microwave does "one thing" or an oven does "one thing". I think your grandma meant like, dedicated egg poachers and banana slicers.

But a combo does indeed do more things. The question is, are they more things I would make use of? I've never had a pressure cooker so I have no idea whether I'd actually use it (once the novelty wore off).

As far as I understand it, aside from being able to do jobs a slow cooker cannot (like canning, I think?) a pressure cooker lets you do what a slow cooker does, but fast. That whole 'fall off the bone tender after four hours in the slow cooker' deal, but in 45 minutes or something.

I would appreciate a fast cooker.

In the future, when finances improve.

I was going to post some Choice Horrifying Quotes from the article, but turns out the whole thing is a horror story and i’m just.

the fact that they got trapped and pulled in and thought they might die three times and were still like “hey what if we do one more” and only didn’t die because they decided to have a meal first??

#//juri speaks#look. i love caves. but there is no fucking way#also not to relate everything to my current hyperfixation but. this could EASILY be a tma episode 

yeah you wouldn’t need to change anything for this to be a TMA episode i absolutely agree, the damn thing already tried to kill them three times

okay guys u gotta read it. I was making highlights but it turned into a summary. still. read it. so worth it.

Ok so two people sink down to look around. Jill and her partner. First glimpse of horror (lots and lots of sea creatures) happens. But everything is pretty and they continue on

That’s the sound of their way in collapsing btw.

They find a way out. And then proceed to dive in again

they get out again.

The photos are sublime. So next day, Wes decided, hey, i want to go with you. Remember the camera i tested? We’re going to take even better pictures with it.

so they dive

and the current picks up again

Dude.

They got sucked in, obv. Water pouring down, the three try to get out. Fail. There’s no way up.

And then Jill decides to show human determination and ingenuity. Holy shit.

They get out. They see the boat with the science team, reaching for them. They’re late for two hours, but alive.

i did not manage to find the iceberg photos, but her other stuff is breathtaking

these photos are from some of her other cave dives

I found a picture from the iceberg dive!

Can you turn your head to look behind you without twisting your shoulders? What about standing on your toes? If you sit down on the floor can you get back up without using your hands?

If there was ever a tumblr post worth sending to your mom, it's this one.

Just saying, bodies are a use it or lose it kinda thing.

okay so every time I see this post crop back up in queues and notifications I end up thinking about it. Because I made the post and even I'm still doing the thing where I read the post about maintaining range of motion in my delicate meatsuit and I nod and hmm and think yeah that's a good idea and then dont move from where I'm curled up shrimp style staring at the nightmare rectangle.

So like. Thinking real hard about moving doesn't count as moving. Major bummer. Anyways. Joints.

right, i mean "meteoric fall" is much more poignant, you fall down and burn up in the atmosphere

I love that, like. He KNOWS the audience want to clap and so he's using them as an extra instrument. He turns around and goes hey, stop, and hopes they understand conductor gestures and it works, and then he has clapping he can use when he wants