In the game changers universe, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rosanov falling in love must have been the best to ever happen to an Ottawa fan. They must be thanking their lucky stars these two feel in love. I feel like even dumb Uncle who you have who is a little homophobic but loves his team so much comes around when Ottawa win a cup.

Shane and Ilya falling in love brought one of the best players in the league willingly to Ottawa, where no one wanted to go. Which led to them making the play offs for a first time in a decade, then it leds to Shane Hollander joining the team, suddenly they have two or the best players in the league and I 100% believe they win mutiple Stanley Cups together over the next 5 to 10 years. You have them, Troy, Wyatt, and Luca is going to be a star. Suddenly, Ottawa is the team to be at. Players want to go there. Their culture is great, and the players love it there.

On the flip side, imagine being a Montreal fan and losing Shane Hollander. If they knew they lost the man who led them to 3 Stanley Cups because the team was unable to accept Shane being with Ilya, they would be furious. People ringing talk back sports show and they are all ,YOU HAD HOLLANDER AND YOU WASTED HIM OVER SOMETHING AS STUPID AS DOUBTING HIS EFFORT. THE MAN WHO LED YOU TO 3 STANLEY CUPS. I NEED TO FIND A NEW TEAM. GEEZ WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL.'

Cause you know that they may still be good without Shane, but it is already noted when they didn't have Shane in the playoffs, they didn't make it. Montreal def go down hill without him.

UC or ER?

HONESTLY THOUGH

THIS IS BOTH ACCURATE AND EFFECTIVE

Urgent Care is for your "Oh no!" accidents.

Emergency Care is for your "Oh fuck!" accidents.

yeah okay ill reblog that!

Tagged by @voxofthevoid-furious (over here) to share some fic snippets that have the following words: and, but, then, where.

I thought about using my pokémon fic but then I thought people would probably like to hear about the Maddie fic instead. NB: the 'and' snippet is from a draft that's already been scrapped, which is why it's in the wrong POV. Fun, though.

And:

Meet my OC for this latest OC in the elemental nations fic! Her name is Madeline (Maddie). Current direct quotes from the fic that explain much about her character:

The story here is not about her learning to trust or reach out to other people. This is just her character. She's just like this. (But the story is about her becoming a swamp witch!)

Ares in Mythology:

Ares in Modern Media: 

Conclusion: My boy is getting done dirtier than Hades in modern representation. Ares is one of the least problematic Gods in the pantheon (except for the murders, I will grant you) and ya’ll are sleeping on him.

ALWAYS REBLOG THIS ONE

I have never hit the reblog button so fast

*sees that my post has 10,000 notes* By Talos this can’t be happening.

*sees that my post has

10,000 notes* By Talos

this can’t be happening.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Tim: *walks into the room to see Jason and Dick hunched over Dick's phone*

Jason: -no a text won't do shit, you gotta call him or it isn't funny enough.

Tim: what are you guys doing?

Dick: oh, Bruce just finished a two week long undercover case where he got shot in three places and he's taking a nap upstairs for the first time in... six days. so we're fucking with him.

Tim:

Tim: he's so lucky to have you both as children.

Jason: hey we were the first ones he tried 'parenting'. we were the trial periods. we fuckin' earned this.

Dick: *nodding*

Tim, sighing: ok what are you gonna do?

Dick: Jason wants to prove that i'm B's favourite, because he's stupid.

Jason: you ARE-

Dick: I'M REALLY FUCKING NOT-

Tim: he's right, he isn't.

Dick: THANK YOU- also oi?

Jason: trust me. you call him now and tell him while he's half asleep and hopped up on pain medication that you've killed somebody and need his help hiding the body, he will be there in seconds. he wouldn't let his little golden boy down like that. he'll pay off anybody he needs to to make sure you get off scott-free.

Tim: Jesus Christ.

Dick, dialling on his phone: this is so stupid,

*phone rings*

Bruce, sounding 3 minutes from perishing, slurring his words and barely conscious: -guh, Dick? i-is this an emergency?

Dick, valiantly putting on the most over-dramatic panicked voice possible: *whimper* B- dad, dad i need help, please,

Bruce, instantly: DICK?

Dick: Bruce i killed somebody and i need help hiding the body. i don't know what to do. it was an accident but i have to hide it. help.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Dick: dad...?

Bruce, grunting: get Jason t' do it *hangs up*

*silence*

Jason: W H A T

Tim: does that count as letting Dick down? he did hang up, but like technically he gave him a referral first.

Dick: i'm honestly a little bit offended

Jason: HE'S PIMPING ME OUT FOR MURDER WORK? AFTER ALL THE SHIT HE GIVES ME ABOUT FATALITIES-,

Dick: like does he think i'd call him first? Bruce man, if i call you for help with a body, it's because i've already contacted Jason and he's unavailable. you are never going to be the first choice.

Jason: -THE SWITCHING TO RUBBER BULLETS, THE DISAPPROVAL, THE LECTURES ON RESPONSIBILITY, AND NOW HE'S SENDING PEOPLE TO ME WITH MURDERS?!?!?!?

Tim: i honestly don't know what we expected, when has B been anything other than a massive hypocrite.

Jason, grabbing a fire extinguisher off the wall: well his fuckin' nap's over now, i'll tell you that much-

Dick: Jay, Alfred is gonna get so mad if you do that-

Tim: why would Alfred care about us waking up B?

Dick, chasing after Jason: no he's gonna get mad about wasting the foam- jASON-

Value Pack

reblog if you love archive of our own and how they firmly refuse to let censorship have any place on their platform

fic where dean’s consciousness is thrown back in time to when he first met cas. he’s like ‘okie dookie gotta play the part” so he stabs cas in the chest bc that’s what he did the first time, right?

… except this time he visibly shudders and mumbles, “damn, that’s still hot.” 

at which point cas - whose consciousness has also been thrown back in time - realizes the same thing has happened to dean. 

they proceed to bicker like an old married couple (”WHY DID YOU STAB ME IF YOU’RE YOU YOU!?” “I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE YOU YOU! I WAS JUST PLAYING ALONG!” “YOU COULD HAVE ASKED, DEAN!” “HOW DO YOU EVEN START THAT CONVERSATION, CAS?”) while bobby watches, completely confuzzled.

bobby: do you know him, dean???

dean, scrambling for an explanation that’s not time travel: uhh… he’s… an ex…?

cas: … i’m about to send your ass back to hell

cas: so what should we change?

dean: first on the agenda? we go to chuck’s house and i punch him in his fucking face.

cas: …. i was thinking more about ruby, but i don’t actually disagree with that plan

dean: 

dean: 

dean: 

dean: shit i forgot about ruby

Duke should hold a grudge against Dick for betraying the entire We Are Robin movement (mostly consisting of poor, non-white minors) to the police. In Gotham. Not to mention that Dick used to be a cop.

Meanwhile. everyone else loves Dick. The Batfamily, the Justice League, the Titans, everyone. So he’s unprepared to deal with this. And no matter how much every other superhero on Earth wants to defend Dick, they can’t exactly say that Duke shouldn’t be angry about that betrayal when it’s put into perspective.

Duke: Wait, you were in juvie before you were Robin? Did you do vigilante crimes that early?

Dick: No, it was just for the crime of being an orphan when there were too many other kids in the foster system. None of the adults wanted to deal with me, so they locked me up.

Duke: Right. Typical Gotham. Maybe the crime rates would be lower if there weren’t so many prison pipelines.

Dick: Exactly! I love this city, but I swear to God…

Duke, choosing to ruin a moment when they’re on the same page: Hey, you know what this means?

Dick: What?

Duke: You came full circle! Locking up vulnerable kids in a Robin origin story. I guess it’s true what they say: you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the cop.

Dick: I was -

Duke: You were so concerned. You just didn’t know what else do to with us. You wanted to keep us out of trouble. Did that shit mean anything to you?

Dick: (sighs deeply) No.

Duke: See, now I’m even more disappointed because you really should have known better. Didn’t know I could get more disappointed. You do always exceed expectations.

Dick, planning a big mission: Then Red Robin and I will find a way to the control room while Black Bat and Robin take out the henchmen. Signal, at the same time I need you to infiltrate the Iceberg Lounge and retrieve -

Duke: Sorry, what?

Dick: I need you to retrieve the -

Duke: What? I can’t understand you. You sound like (realistic pig noises).

Dick: Signal. This is not the time.

Duke: I’m sorry, I’m sure whatever you’re saying is very intelligent. I just don’t know pig. All I’m hearing is (remarkably good pig impression for a city boy continues).

Stephanie: (starts laughing in the background)

Duke, straight-faced: Can anyone translate?

Dick:

Damian, who took Duke to a petting zoo last week: Fear not, Thomas, I speak adequate pig. I believe Grayson is ordering you to waste your talents on a side mission, despite your detective skills and powers of perception being particularly suited to navigating a death maze.

Duke: Thanks. I’d like to request a different role if that’s possible, please.

Dick: (inhales)

Dick: You can enter the maze first with Tim. I will focus on rescuing the hostages and meet you in the control room if there’s time.

Duke: That’s a good plan. Why didn’t you speak English before?

i taught a baking class for 12 year olds today and we made your garden variety chocolate chip cookies, but i’m a big believer in Questioning Everything and the who/what/where/why/when/how behind things, so the first part of the class was purposely letting the kids do things the wrong way, to show and explain why we do things the way we do.

“why do we bake cookies at 180 for 9 minutes when we could do 400 for 2 minutes?” -enter the godawful lump of coal with a still gross wet and uncooked inside

“why do we have to scoop out little cookies instead of doing the whole tray?” -ok well that one you can technically do if the spread is even. you just end up with one giant, structurally unsound cookie. “PLEASE CAN WE MAKE GIANT COOKIES” (we did make 1 giant tray cookie)

we talked a lot about why consistency is important, but i don’t think it really hammered home until i said “okay everyone gets ONE cookie, that’s fair, right?” and then handed out cookies of hugely varying sizes. + baked one fat lump of a cookie that still wasn’t done at the 9 minutes, vs the regular one i put in that came out charred by the time the first was actually done.

we also made a row of cookies where each one had one single differing ingredient omitted, like a cookie with no flour, or a cookie with no butter, and laid them all out on a single tray to bake together to see how each ingredient affects the outcome.

two of the little girls added cocoa to their cookie doughs until it matched the colour of each others skin to make best friend cookies, and that almost made me tear up a bit 🥺

got briefly distracted (…for over half an hour…) talking about how eggs form when someone cracked an egg and it had 2 yolks

expertly tolerated being asked how old i am (just turned 31 the other day) which was immediately followed by asking if i watched the moon landing live on tv

was so focused on keeping track of all the kids that in the end i forgot to make a cookie for myself, but it’s ok because one of the girls gave me this

tiny……….

the class went well and they asked if i wanted to do another one in a couple weeks and i said yeah, and they’re taking uh… fuck, what’s the word for inventory when it’s people?? attendance?? whatever, they’re trying to see who’s interested to get a feel of if it’d be 1 three hour class again or if there’s too many kids so we’d do a couple classes. anyways, i love the emails from Concerned Parents.

“will there be knives involved?” we are baking cookies.

“what temperatures does the oven get to/will it be hot enough to burn?” we are baking cookies.

“will there be [insert ingredient used in cookies]?” we are baking cookies.

“are you using fahrenheit or celsius?” ??????? d-does it matter?? it’s going to get Hot. (also celsius; this is ontario)

“are the ovens childproof?” no?? i’m assuming you’re asking if i’m going to let your kids reach into the ovens while i’m staring out a window in another room. i will not be allowing your children to use the ovens. they will not be left unattended. 

“why is the library baking class taking place at the high school?” the library does not have 10 ovens. the library does not even have 1 oven. the high school has many ovens.

“what if i don’t want my child to have cookies? can you let her make muffins instead?” this is a baking class for cookies. we are baking cookies.

“cookies aren’t healthy. why don’t you make [insert whatever]” do you know how many cookies i can make with a $40 budget and a trip to the bulk store? we are making cookies.

“who needs a class to bake a cookie, why not teach something more valuable?” IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE COOKIES, KAREN, IT’S ABOUT FAMILIARIZING CHILDREN WITH THE ART AND SCIENCE OF BAKING/COOKING/FOOD, ABOUT TRYING NEW THINGS, MAKING MISTAKES AND REALIZING THAT THE MISTAKES ARE NOT ONLY OKAY TO MAKE BUT VALUABLE IN AND OF THEMSELVES, FAMILIARIZING THEM WITH INDEPENDENCE, THE UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS CAN COME TOGETHER TO FORM A NEW AND BETTER WHOLE, ALL WHILE HAVING TRYING TO INJECT A MODICUM OF JOY INTO THEIR LITTLE LIVES. SORRY THAT THERE ARE CONCEPTS AT PLAY YOU CAN’T SEEN TO UNDERSTAND HERE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD COME JOIN AND I’LL LET YOU MAKE A FUCKING COOKIE.

Hey someone suggested I use ChatGPT to figure out adulting today, and as I was going through the mental list of places I'd rather look, I realized "beloved strangers on Tumblr dot net" was on that list.

So if you have an aspect of adulting that you're really good at-taxes, budgeting, cooking, insurance, credit, time management, house upkeep, anything-please feel free to reblog with any tips.

Not me, but @bitchesgetriches has a lot of great resources for many of these topics on their website.

That's us! Professional internet adults, specializing in financial stuff! We recommend starting with our Grand List of All Articles, or one of our Masterposts:

“Ask ChatGPT this and that” like fuck holy shit people don’t want real advice.

“Ask ChatGPT this and that”

like fuck holy shit people

don’t want real advice.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

enough about the timeloop I wanna hear about the post-timeloop.

person who just got over the horror of being trapped in a loop and settled into a comfortable routine...but then the timeloop breaks and they struggle to reacclimatize. person trapped in a loop for years who grieved their loved ones—who are suddenly back and acting like nothing happened (because for them nothing did). teenager who aged physically and mentally during the timeloop and now they're so much older than they're supposed to be. random strangers who were trapped in a loop together relieved to get away from each other at last, but feeling oddly bereft of familiar company. service worker who is pissed as fuck to have to go back to work

person who lost their impulse control suddenly living in a world that has consequences again. person who lost their brain-to-mouth filter and now just says things they can't take back. person with choice paralysis because the future was certain and safe and familiar for so long and now who knows what the fuck will happen next. gimme timeline re-entry dysphoria!

why the fuck does english have a word for

but not for “the day after tomorrow”

???

Because you’re not looking hard enough! ;)

Overmorrow = the day after tomorrow

Ereyesterday = the day before yesterday

Example: I defenestrated my brother ereyesterday. I shall defenestrate my sister overmorrow! Because I hate my family and also windows.

english has some of the best examples of stupidly specific words, tbh

Rhotacism (n): excessive use of the letter “R”

Lingible (adj): meant to be licked

Whipjack (n): a beggar, specifically one who is pretending to have been shipwrecked

Yerd (v): to beat with an object with a stick

Roddikin (n): the fourth stomach of a cow or a deer

Balbriggan (n): a type of fine cotton, most often used in underwear

and my personal favorite

Cornobble (v): to slap or beat another person with a fish

This makes the English nerd in me extremely happy.

love how the gay couple from Sesame Street and the gay couple from the Muppets have opposite relationship dynamics, while both somehow embodying the Romantic Ideal

the Heckling Your Partner vs Heckling With Your Partner dynamic (both are love languages)

i tried the “ask your mom what she would do if you were a bug” trend

asked my dad too