petting the seal

There is still good stuff on Facebook

i’m going to spare you all from having to read the repulsive garbage matt walsh spewed to garner this reply, but god damn if this isn’t a precision orbital strike

beer before spider hurricane spider

Sometimes country girls need to come up with alternate plans

Type of shit your grandparents tell you that is categorically unconvincing

Protestants are so fucking lame what do you mean the Pope threw a rave?

nothing’s felt real since like 2012

Thinking back to the first story I ever started writing down (I was 7 or 8) about a group of stray cats who, every full moon, took the form of human kids. They actually were human kids, who had been killed (all at different times/by different people). Their bodies were each dumped by the side of the road where a cat had been hit by a car previously, and their souls landed in the cats' bodies. Eventually they all found each other and decided that every full moon, when they shifted, they'd try to solve each other's murders one by one. It was going to be a series, with each book focusing on a different kid's murder mystery. I told my mom about it once, briefly, and she said "Those cat books (warrior cats) are making you creepy."

Just finished writing this manuscript, the first story I ever started. 23 years in the making. Never give up, even if your mom calls you creepy 🖤

NEVER GIVE UP PEOPLE WE’RE GONNA GET THE STRAY CATS AND DEAD KIDS STORY

okay, I’ll bite. What’s media

media is when one guy is chasing another with a knife but a tv camera zooms in so it looks like the guy with the knife is being attacked by the guy who’s actually running away. that’s media.

Christ that’s fucked up. Is anyone doing anything about this?

new DB Cooper theory: he went up

Please meet Rube Goldberg.

While collecting eggs a couple of weeks ago, this egg slipped out of my hands from 5 feet up above wood, wire, and cement. Quail eggs are VERY fragile when it comes to impacts, so this egg's life flash before my eyes and time slowed down as I watched the world's most ridiculous accidental cartoon egg drop.

It somehow missed every obstacle on the way down (3 shelves) in order to land upon the side of a milk jug I had dropped the day before. It bounced off of that to a couple feet away, and hit the side of a hay bale. It bounced off of that, and somehow landed on the open lip of an empty feed back laying on the floor that I had put down under the towers to prevent the cement from sinking heat from the space. The bag gently collapsed, and rolled the pristine egg to a stop back at my feet.

I stared at it in disbelief. I took it inside and candled it- not a crack in it. So I noted the pen I got it from (CER) and scribbled "dropped?" on it. I figured SURELY it would not develop after that kind of nonsense, but when I candled at lockdown, the little thing was ready to go.

So, I stuck the egg into its own hatching bag, and sure as shit, the little fucker hatched!

And as if the rest of the story is not weird enough, this is possibly the first coturnix chick in the world who didn't immediately faceplant off of a human hand in the pursuit of the cold embrace of death. It just sat there, posing with the egg. Looking around like Hm so this is what being alive is... it's alright I guess.

Speepy Rube

I picked him up and pet his head and he was just like oh okay, and laid down to take a lil nap.

kirabubu

kirabubu

kirabubu