Absolutely cackling over the banjo subreddit

The fact I had no fucking clue which euphemisms were about sex and which ones were about playing banjo

@thatbanjobusiness

ok I endured it. now what!!!!!!!!!

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

It’s like reaching into the cupboard for food and accidentally finding a 19 year old can of soup that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons

Traditions are usually pretty new except for the ones that aren’t. Even the ones that people think are thousands of years old often turn out to have been invented in the 1500s or something.

There are some that are super old obviously but not as many as you’d think

alcohol? like 4000 years old. heirlooms? basically since the invention of material durable enough to be passed down. gifting things not for diplomatic reasons? like maybe 50

Specific alcohols and specific heirlooms aren’t usually that old. Unless you’re the emperor of Japan (allegedly)

Personally if I had a real sword made by the literal sun goddess that could control the wind I’d flaunt it all the time to assert my divine right to rule instead of locking it up in a monastery attic but what do I know I’m not the royal family of Japan

If you hypothetically owned an airbending magic sword why would you not use that to kick the shogun out of your chair I’m just saying

Okay slight correction the sun goddess didn’t make the sword, her brother gave it to her and he found it inside of a giant snake.

Wait who put it in the snake?

Unclear.

sisyphus... you made boulder choices on the runway this week, but we just need you to push a little more. i'm sorry my dear but you are up for elimination

*grasping at straws* My straws!

my mythology pet peeve is when someone describes a scenario in which they keep nearly getting something and then having it snatched away, and everyone's like "one must imagine sisyphus" no!!! one must imagine TANTALUS!!! sisyphus = being made to perform a pointless, aggravating task over and over without ever making any progress. tantalus = being offered a glorious reward only for it to vanish as soon as you reach for it. they are NOT the same

[ Begin ID: A screenshot of a comment by @/thiswitchsblog that reads "Man, explaining this over & over must really make you feel like Syphilis." / End ID ]

completely personal preference obviously but i hate when there's a time travel fix-it and everything goes smoothly and the protagonist is just cool and confident with all their knowledge of the ruined future. nooo shut up. what is even the point if they're not an emotionally traumatized mess frantically trying to fix things and fucking up as they do so, keeping secrets and alienating their loved ones, causing new and interesting problems and barely scraping through to an eventual better ending

My preferred outcome is for them to avoid the problems in the original timeline only to face a whole host of new, unforeseen consequences because reality is fuckin complicated and you can't control all the factors in the world no matter how hard you try <3

i particularly like when they're managing the whole power fantasy handling everything more or less smoothly due to the power of hindsight and having leveled up for like a third of the story, and then get bodied by the unexpected consequences.

The best regressors are at least 50% visibly cracking at the seams because of the situation. 🥰

More seriously, though: the reason this tends to be contentous in fandoms is because there are two very different fantasies at play in the time-travel fix-it genre.

The first is the optimiser's fantasy: figuring out how to run the optimal version of the scenario. This tends to be big with video game mechanic stories because it's not really about people, it's a resource management based thought experiment in story form.

The second is the dramatist's fantasy: going back and dealing with all the trauma and seeking closure. This tends to lean into the Butterfly Effect and have things go wrong, because it is about ✨Drama!✨at heart.

Which is why the two camps often hate each other's stories. 😅

The reconciliation is to have the optimizer require multiple runs during which things go horribly wrong before they can figure out how to groundhog day their way to the optimal scenario. Usually with the caveat that they've optimized this scenario, but reality of course will contain many more once they're out of the loop.

I approve of powerscaling discourse only in utterly senseless contexts. I don't give a shit about which shōnen protagonists could beat up which other shōnen protagonists, but I will 100% read your five thousand word essay exploring the subtle nuances of establishing a tiered ranking of the Smurfs.

"Could Batman beat Captain America" trite, tedious, bullshit. "Could Deadpool beat Roger Rabbit" now you have my attention.

A big reason why I think I became a marxist is bc I read A LOT of Calvin & Hobbes and Bill Watterson really went out of his way to lay the groundwork for teaching people critical analysis. Like take this panel for example:

EVERYTHING one knows about American/Western culture, especially in the late 80's/early 90's, would lead to the logical next line being some form of "Kids These Days Are Succumbing To The Evils Of Satan" or some likewise cheap Reaction™ But then Bill pulls the rug out

He criticizes the "satanic" bands not for some lack of christian morals but because theyre a byproduct of hyperconsumptionist culture. Bill takes no issue with the subject matter bc his issue is knowing its only being done to sell rebellion as a consumer product rather than to say anything truly provocative or inspired.

since it has brought me such great joy ive been watching it repeatedly, here's racist and rapist Jake Paul getting punched in the head

that look of fear and despair has made my heart grow three sizes. i love combat sports.

btw he's fighting two time world heavyweight champ Anthony Joshua here, and if you couldn't tell from his smile, he really enjoyed breaking Jake Paul's jaw in two places

Certified Sex Ed Post!

Some people are afraid of heights or just don’t like it :D

Good metaphor OP

One of the hardest things to learn as a leftist is that there are a lot self proclaimed leftists that are actually totally cool with abusive social systems, they just don’t like that they’re the ones being abused. The solution to male supremacy isn’t woman supremacy, it’s no supremacy. The supremacy is the bad part. This line of thinking is how you get TERFS and the NOI

yuri and yaoi are some of the best, most sacred things in the entire world

Whale shark not detected (｡•́︿•̀｡)

yuri and yaoi and whale shark are some of the best, most sacred things in the entire world

Whale shark detected! Yippie

Thank you fish :3

lil bro

Holy shit guys I just duck duck went Moby Dick and THE LOGO TURNED INTO AN UNHOLY HYBRID BETWEEN A DUCK AND A WHITE WHALE????

I can't get over DuckDuckWent as a past tense of using duckduckgo as a verb. Like yes youre right BUT