Elves aren't real dipshit. It was probably a weather balloon that gave you that footjob.

the difference between yugioh and magic the gathering (as someone who plays neither) is that a yugioh card says like "if you own a Blorbionicus the King of Red Eyes in your pendulum summon zone (but NOT your left pendulum summon zone) you can special summon (NOT ritual or zexal or pendulum summon) sixteen cards named Blorbimini (excluding Maid Blorbimini) to any zone EXCEPT the super double defense zone" and no one can explain this to me but meanwhile a magic the gathering card says "flying. after the end of your turn draw a card" and people are like oh those fools bc the action only goes on the stack after the end of your turn and because of the use of 'your' instead of 'the owner's' and because mercury is in gatorade, technically it only resolves during the opponents third upkeep when explicitly you cant draw cards or else a sniper will shoot you

Find a set of random coordinates here.* You are promptly teleported to that location, with nothing more than the clothes and other objects on your person. How bad a time are you having?

*: Reroll open ocean results. Let's assume the teleporter has the decency to at least deposit you on solid ground.

“Abyssal”, new Secret Knots comic.

updated list of blockable offences 2025:

reupdated list of blockable offences 2025:

An olive oil tanker crashed in the gulf and instead of doing dawn dishsoap rescues all the good samaritans came down to promptly capture and pan fry all the baby seabirds

My ford got a hydrolic module with a jumping bean in it

bro are drivers insane? That's like the second car-related post on Tumblr with the amount of hatred literally not seen under any other type of post ever

Yeah the jumping bean makes the car jump over/across

Road rage is so bad because it's the same rage anyone would feel at a computer working wrong, (slow internet, program not doing what you want, whatever), but it raises the stakes to "possibly literally life or death".

Basically it works by containing the power of the mexigan jumping bean to fire the cylanders inside of the wheel hydraulics and create a massive jumping force

If you dont want me pit maneuvering you out the way then get out the way. I dont say this a lot but i am willing to kill to get to my destination half a minute sooner

Just a quick update for you all somebody fucked my car earlier this week they fucked the jumping bean to death thru the exhaust pipe and I need prosecution

I remember hearing a story of some person doing this, keeping someone from speeding on the highway. They made it really clear to them they needed to get through, and she wouldn't let them pass her because she was teaching them a lesson about road rage. Except that person eventually got pulled over and scolded by police and first responders.

The car behind them was literally transporting someone who had been severly injured by a chainsaw, while working and they were on the phone with emergency services. They were trying to speed to the nearest ambulance because they had been so far away they were instructed to start moving the person to meet the ambulance so they could try to save this person who was bleeding out so badly.

Literally just get out of peoples way and let people go around you.

Ford dealer told me to go fuck my self upside the head and well most of my body is my head plus another jumpingbean will cost me most of my chatturbate money

source

every time i watch this video of dale cooper stealing a cop's gun to air out a nine year old i go back and listen to hybrid theory again. crazy album. shit you play at 128kbps off a walkman phone while some dude in arizona calls you a fuckin queer on xbox live. doesn't realise how right he is, and neither do you. dust motes caught in a sunbeam, twisting in brief synchronicity and then parting ways forever. rip chester

did you guys know wikipedia has several pages dedicated to last words

actually there's separate ones for each century after the 17th which i feel might be a little overkill

that's no "student driver" I think they're smurfing

widehead