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angelicmoonlightt:

croissant seeking behavior

scramratz:

Im so glad this meme is my legacy

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redstonedust:

crazy how you can get used to working around problems that have very easy fixes. for like 6 months we used a hand towel to jam a kitchen cabinet closed because the hinges were broken and it turns out fixing it took me like $5 and 20 minutes. bedroom door has been squeaky for years and all it needed was a lil wd40. im sure this can apply to mental health too but i wouldnt know about all that.

penn-dragon:

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👀👀

Based on this image

shamebats:

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There’s a Wikipedia article for the bean soup incident…

cryptidfuckery:

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REALLY like this photo of mayonnaise

potato-crackers:

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Binghe pin up <3


nude version:

Keep reading

loreleywrites:

girlknight slumped over the bar at the local tavern, three pints in, gripping her own scalp, “i have GOT to stop swearing oaths of fealty”

dragon-in-a-fez:

I can clearly remember the moment I first realised my mother and I were living on completely different planes of existence. I was 7 years old and I came home from my school’s first track and field day having placed second or third in every event. the teachers had been making jokes all afternoon about how many times they had to call my name. my friends thought I was cool as shit. my enemies thought I was cool as shit too, come to think of it. I was proud as hell. so I get home with the entire front of my shirt covered in ribbons like I was a military dictator who’d awarded himself every medal, I walk into the kitchen and tell my mum all about my day, and she goes “oh, that must be disappointing not getting any firsts.” and I’m like no?? first of all the first place ribbons are red and I don’t like red. second of all look at me. there’s literally nowhere left on my body for accolades. I am fucking Jacked of All Trades. how could this possibly be a disappointment.