Receiving a Werther’s Derivative from my poser grandma

happy holidays all. I won’t be silent about what i saw today, December 8 at 10:06am on I-74 West.

You guys call anything Catholic just because it's christian and vibesy. "oh he's southern and makes me feel bad about myself" girl that's a baptist

only valid tag on this so far

Quick and absolutely non-comprehensive field guide of Christian breeds:

Roman Catholic: Oldest version and the one pretty much everyone else split off from. Ornate churches, elaborate vestments, formalized and ritualistic service. Very hierarchal and patriarchal; Pope is head of the church and all clergy are male and celibate. Most, but not all Christian monastic orders are Roman Catholic. Primary ranges: Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, Ireland, and places with strong colonialist/immigration ties to the above (especially Latin and South America).

Eastern Orthodox: Split from the Roman Catholics during the 12th century. Churches tend to be more dome based, icons are everywhere. Less centralized than Catholic church. Male priests, may be married or unmarried but usually depicted with thick beards and either very fancy robes and crowns or black robes with a black hat and veil. Primary ranges: Russia, Greece, eastern Europe.

Anglican/Episcopal: Split from the Roman Catholics when Henry VIII wanted a divorce. Sometimes called "Catholic Lite" because "high church" vibes are very Catholic at first glance (notable differences: less emphasis on saints/Virgin Mary, lots of references to people in Oxford and Canturbury, priests who may be married, female, and/or openly queer). Monarch of England is nominal head of church (except for Episcopals, who are what American Anglicans became when they didn't like the whole king business), but like most things with the monarchy it's an empty title and the Bishop of Canterbury is generally regarded as the official head honcho. Primary ranges: United Kingdom, US, Canada, former British Empire areas.

Lutheran: Split from the Roman Catholics when Martin Luther didn't like forgiveness of sins being a pay-to-play deal. Generally more minimalist in look than Catholic or Anglican. Wide range of subgroups including Evangelical (generally moderate to progressive), Missouri Synod (conservative) and Wisconsin Synod (extremely conservative). American Lutherans have a reputation for extreme stoicism and throwing lots of potlucks. Primary ranges: Germany, Scandinavia, Midwestern US.

African-American: Churches of various denominations that minister primarily to Black Americans, because segregation was A Big Thing for much of the country's history. Usually depicted as having passionate, enthusiastic preaching with call-and-response ("Can I get an 'Amen'?" "AMEN!"), gospel choirs, and ladies in really fancy hats. Primary ranges: Black communities throughout the US.

Latter-Day Saint/Mormon: Splinter group formed when a guy named Joseph Smith claimed to find a whole new part of the Bible. Famous for polygamy but nowadays this is limited to smaller fundamentalist sects. Aggressive missionary work; being approached by young men in black pants and white button up shirts calling themselves "Elder (Name)" is inevitable anywhere around a Mormon ward. Very conservative; EXTREMELY white. Primary ranges: Utah and Idaho, with a smaller but still distinct presence in other western US states.

Evangelical American: Loose organization of non-denominational churches with strong social and political presence. Primarily responsible for 98% of the "faith-based" media made in the last thirty or so years. Typically found in large mega-churches, converted anchor stores in strip malls, and high school auditoriums. Very conservative and making that absolutely EVERYONE'S problem. Primary ranges: anywhere in the US where they're worried someone is learning evolution, feminism, or socialism.

Also, just to swing back around to Catholics since that's who I know, there are other tells.

Family with a lot of children? Either Catholic or quiverfull. Quiverfull is not any specific denomination, and there are similar movements outside of Christianity, but the term comes from Psalm 127:3–5. Here it is from the King James Version of the Bible care of Wikipedia:

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Besides that, Catholic families are not just big but tend to have no qualms about drinking. Heck, they put out a whole 'nother set of mysteries for the Rosary since I left the Church and they make sure to include Jesus turning water into wine at the wedding at Cana.

Speaking of that, you can gauge when a person left the Church or even if they're still in it based on how they respond when you say, "Peace be with you." The response when I was a kid was, "And also with you." The response now is, "And with your spirit." And then there's the third possibility: they left before the Church made the switch from saying the Mass in Latin to saying the Mass in the spoken language of the area.

I enjoy when people give me a hard time about using the term "sequential art" because they think it's just a pretentious way of saying "comics", because when I point out that "comics" and "sequential art" are overlapping but non-identical mediums, they invariably demand an example of sequential art that isn't comics, and I get to hit them with "PowerPoint presentations".

@urlocallesbiab replied:

i like how you said "overlapping" instead of "one being a wider category than the other" do you have any examples of comics that don't count as sequential art? (this isn't a gotcha question, this is me engaging in good-natured, sportsmanlike pedantry, along with expressing my curiosity)

ALT

leather boy pig roaster

(HE/HIM) 🐇⚡🏳️‍⚧️

his tummy + cellulite

was she real for t hi s

sorry ...mm.

no I'm not.

I know everything is shit fucked sixteen ways before lunch time, but it remains a fact that you should not trust anyone who wants you to feel like the whole world hates you all the time. That's a person trying to sell you something, swallow you whole, or bleed you dry. Especially those times when it feels like they're right.

No one wants anything good from you who wants you always feeling scared and hated. They will wear you out and leave you in the bin the second fashions change. Things are extremely high levels of fucked, but you are not hated like that. It's scary and isolating but you are not alone like that. Worst case, come and shiver like a wet dog with me, I won't say anything and we can dry out.

I think this is being taken as a generic positivity post, but it is very much meant to be cautionary. Now more than ever we are easily manipulated by our own justified anger, which is reason enough to always force yourself to pause a minute, five minutes, to consider if something is worth your anger, if it's even true or just upsetting.

I don’t care if you make fun of Catholicism as long as it’s accurate! The best humour has its roots in the truth.

“You can be mean to me but there are RULES about it” is the most Catholic thing I’ve ever seen.

I walked into that one