While you were studying the blade, I was studying you. You’re weak on your left side and your footwork could use improvement. Also I think I’ve fallen in love with you. Who said that.
”This portrayal of a marginalized group was wrong then and is wrong now” and “This portrayal of a marginalized group was very progressive for the time period and paved the way for more representation while likely limited by factors outside of the creator’s control” are two statements that can and should ABSOLUTELY coexist and be kept in mind when interacting with older media
Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. “It’s all there,” he said with a shit-eating grin, “you can count it.”
Oh buddy. We’re going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
“Ruining someone’s day” is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him “Untraceable,” the other half is calling him “Quarter Boy” and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer’s tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying “oh here, hold this for a sec” and then watching they weren’t ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn’t hurt them).
It’s an infosec conference, so it’s a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
languages that don’t distinguish between formal and informal you are missing out on so much petty drama. my grandparents have two neighbours who once got into a huge fight over something honestly pretty trivial, so neighbour A said he was going to revoke neighbour B’s du (informal you) privileges. neighbour B was like “okay but can i use du one last time?” and neighbour A was like “yeah go ahead”, and neighbour B said “du arschloch” (you asshole). incredible.
Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.
How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?
Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.
gameshow voice: is it gay subtext or are the writers just so catastrophically bad at writing female characters that the only relationships in the entire story that feel human are the ones between the men.
straight up it should be illegal for a physical storefront not to accept physical currency, or for restaurants not to provide physical menus
I’m assuming the above is a normie opinion (as it should be) so i do wanna go a tiny step further and explicitly state any laundromat that requires digital payment should be burned to the fucking ground
people saying “don’t use your full government name for your ao3”, “create different emails for work and personal use” but personally I think it’s both sad and dystopian how capitalism/companies/even schools think they have the rights to cross your personal boundaries and insert themselves into your personal life. like, I get it, safety wise, why checking digital footprints can be important sometimes. but a gay fanfiction is not a fucking threat that could ever cause anybody harm. it’s funny (not really, it’s still sad and dystopian) how they now think they can control your personal life and prevent you from having hobbies
Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like “I’m not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it.” Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.
I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.
Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won’t let you copy and paste:
Every unhinged fic writer needs an equally unhinged friend who “yes ands” their ideas and encourages them to write all their most far fetched and insane stories.
love when ppl ask to see pics of my axolotl and are expecting something cute + pink + all smiles and instead with genuine fear in their eyes, and in their heart, say WHAT the fuck is that.
demon
run.
“Multiple leviathan-class lifeforms detected in the region. Are you sure whatever you’re doing is worth it?”
sending my most loyal knight on increasingly dangerous missions because i want to see him crawling back bleeding out within an inch of his life or see him get possessed by the cursed blade as his morals start to crumble as he grows more bloodthirsty and ruthless but it turns out he’s too good at his job so he just returns perfectly fine every time. what’s even the fucking point
It’s actually kind of striking how rapidly the ads on ostensibly respectable platforms have changed in the last 12–18 months. I’ve been getting penis enlargement scams and pyramid schemes that don’t even bother to pretend to be otherwise on YouTube – it’s like every platform is now running the kinds of ads that even three years ago would have been restricted to porn sites, and I’m not gonna lie, the fact that everyone seems to be getting desperate all at once ain’t an encouraging sign!
I just saw full frontal erect penis on a weather app. It’s not the sign of the impending tech-bubble implosion I expected, but apparently it’s the sign we’re getting.
“You know those are based on your browsing history” no, you don’t get it: I tried obfuscating my identity on YouTube with a burner freemail account on a public terminal and actually got more boner pill ads. Boner pill ads appear to be the default experience when they don’t know your demographic.
