The difference between Odysseus hurting someone and Aeneas hurting someone is one is like if a cat bites you and the other is like if a dog bites you.
Odysseus hurts people and you go "yeah he just does that usually", but when Aeneas does the same it's like "what??? The fuck???"
This is because when reading the Odyssey you quickly get to know He Is Just Like That, and has absolutely no emotional intelligence, whereas Aeneas shows an ability to be a nice and good person and therefore has enough emotional intelligence to know when he is hurting someone.
(It also helps that Homer writes like he actually likes Odysseus as a character, but Vergil clearly fucking hates Aeneas half the time (the Carthaginians are like bees who are lovely and awesome and friendly and the Trojans are like ANTS who fucking SUCK and STEAL MY GRAIN))
