my mom, discussing furries with me: but I don’t get all the cats and dogs, why wouldn’t you want to be a sexy animal? like a kangaroo

me: mama what the hell does that mean

my mom: so muscular

Phineas and Ferb episode idea: After Candace shows her photos of all of her brothers’ creations, Linda thinks that her daughter is a talented graphic artist and signs her up for a competition. Candace is frustrated and about to tell her mom the truth but then Jeremy shows up and he’s like “Wow, Candace, I didn’t know you were a graphic designer. That’s so cool. Btw, my little sister is also gonna be at the graphic design competition.”

Long story short, Candace asks her brothers to help her become a graphic artist for real so she could beat Suzie.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz has gotten tired of designing -Inators so he designed the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator to design them for him. The Inator’s creation are a hit among other Evil Scientists who buy them in droves. Doofenshmirtz is then signed by Vanessa to an Evil Contracption Designing competition (held in the same building at the same time as the graphic design competition, of course).

Desperate, he asks Perry the Platypus to help him get his mojo back so he could design -Inators again.

Cue musical montage of Doof and Candace training to learn/relearn their respective art form.

It’s the competition(s). Candace is a nervous wreck, but Jeremy believes in her. Doof is all self-assured and ego-boosted by everyone thinking he’ll win, but then he sees his Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator (who looks like a robotic him) also signed up for the competition.

While getting ready for the competition, Perry is accidentally almost spotted by Phineas and Ferb. He sneaks behind the curtain to the behind the scenes. That’s when he discovers that the goal of the competition is to design a doomsday weapon. Nervous, he swaps the cards with those of the graphic design competition.

The competition begins. The graphic artists are assigned to design a doomsday weapon while the Evil Scientists are assigned to design a cool band poster.

The scientists are baffled, but they do their best. The Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is stuck because it’s physically incapable of drawing anything but Inators.

Meanwhile in the graphic design competition Candace does her best but her brain goes blank. Suzie meanwhile is trying to sabotage her by switching her card back with the card from the other tournament. Unfortunately it’s the card of the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator, who now goes to task designing a Doomsday weapon.

The competition is finished. Candace’s work is mediocre, but she wins by technicality for being the only one who drew the correct thing.

Meanwhile at the Evil Scientists competition, the scientists all drew terrible posters except Doof whose poster is beautiful. He’s about to be declared the winner but then the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator reveals what it’s been working on, a doomsday machine. Everyone panics, and Perry the Platypus tries to stop the machine, but fails. Then the machine ticks down to 0, and nothing happens.

Turns out the Comes-Up-With-Inators-Inator is terrible at coming up with machines. All of its Inators don’t work. Which unfortunately for Doof results in all of his previously happy customers showing up to complain because their Inators didn’t work either. He asks Perry to help him again, but Perry is already gone.

“There you are, Perry.” “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!”

Despite winning, Candace feels hollow because she only won by technicality and all of the other designers were much better than her. She feels like a fraud. But then Jeremy shows up and asks to buy the rights for her poster, because he thinks it’s really cool. Candace is happy.

The End.

Jeremy: I love the exploding moon in the corner

Candace *frowning*: It’s a flower

Ferb’s Line: Maybe you did design a doomsday weapon after all

I used to be obsessed with Phineas and Ferb.

Also I’m a good writer.

phineas and ferb heritage post

PLEASE PLAY THIS WITH SOUND OMG

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

Telephone Sheep by Jean Luc Cornec

Oh these are the electric sheep the androids dream about

ohhh “cable knit” i get it now

Alright girlies we can't let the executive dysfunction win today

I mean alright girlies we can't let the executive dysfunction win tomorrow

I love that, like. He KNOWS the audience want to clap and so he's using them as an extra instrument. He turns around and goes hey, stop, and hopes they understand conductor gestures and it works, and then he has clapping he can use when he wants

this is an example of a symbiotic relationship

someone needs to end this man now please

My friend Keki sent me a Makima funko pop, and it whispers to me at night, and it has been gradually merging into my personality.

when I tell u I had to scroll a week back in my twitter likes to find this video bc I genuinely couldn’t sleep until I did

9 year anniversary of Ragnar discovering snow

Cryptid owner cryptid dog

It's giving Raditutde by Weezer

adding a blank emoji to my discord server might be the best thing to ever happen to text communication. asynchronous digital equivalent of hanging out in a room with your friends in silence. let's all nothing together

‎ ‎

"ugh forced marriage? this plot is so toxic"

That's the kink

"they can barely/can't control themself from ravishing their partner? How is that portrayed as ROMANTIC??"

That's the kink

"why is the plot so fixated on how tiny the main character is compared to the love interest?"

Grisps your shoulders so firmly

Buddy you're not gonna believe this

More and more often these days, in what is surely a sign that everything is just absolutely fine, I find myself recalling the wise words of the prophets written on the subway walls: