remember how charlie kirk got school shooted? remember how the other TPUSA guy died of covid? remember how ice agents keep falling down on ice? remember how they killed a woman whose name was Good? like her literal fucking name? remember how they tried to rename the DoD the Department of War? remember how we live in a fucking cartoon world apparently

her name was Good. they killed Good. is this a scene from fucking Pilgrim’s Progress? What’s next, is the next GOP candidate gonna be named Steve Racist?

ok I endured it. now what!!!!!!!!!

*test driving a car with the salesperson in the car with me* hey do you mind if i test the sound system with my music?

yeah sure go ahead

*connect my mp3 player*

*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*

i love crashing my car, crashing the car i'm driving is my favourite, the only thing i love more than crashing cars is crashing cars with other people in the car with me

office chair hungry, feed it skirt hems

You wanna let your long skirt get tangled up in my wheels so bad

chair Wheel perfec t size for put skirt in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort skirt not get stuck put hem in Chair Wheel. Put Hem In Chair Whe. no problems ever in chaair wheel because good Shape and Support for skirt hem weak of big skirt hem. Achair wheel yes a place for a hem put hem in chair wheel can trust chair for giveing good love to skirt. friend chair

A MOUSE BAR DURING PROHIBITION WOULD BE CALLED A SQUEAKEASY!!!

this came to me in a vision btw. the vision was of a little mouse bartender yelling, "cheese it! it's the cops!" and all the little mice flipping the bar and turning it into a fromagerie.

"Damn, that's the thoid police raid in a month. Ya know, Tommy, I think we got ourselves a rat."

"Course we got a rat! This is New Yoik, we got a dozen rats in here on any given night. Never caused no problems, and excellent tippers, rats!"

"No, no, I mean I think we gots a mole in our midst."

"Well yeah, Teddy's a mole, ain't he? And a good pal, I'll have you know."

"No, Tommy! I mean there's a pig."

"Now just hold on, you know Ginny don't like that word! And just what are you implying, huh?"

"I'm talkin about a fed!!"

"Well, I'm about-a fed up with you, buddy! You best get outta here with that kinda race talk."

"Jiminy Christmas, man, it ain't race talk! I'm sayin da cops are in here!"

"Cops here?! Aw hell, chEESE IT EVERYBODY—"

Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

i know fandom history that even I don’t care about

Cromch

strongly agree with this sentiment, the sound is lovely here

God that sounds so goddamned refreshing I wish I was eating a cactus

Foxes disguised as monks. On the left from Japan and on the right from Denmark.

It was a global problem

[ID: Two ivory figurines; the first is a kitsune disguised as a Buddhist monk, and the second is a fox dressed as a Catholic monk. End ID]

ALT

Goodreads users will really make lists about anything. Who's ready for uncle literature ‼️

It feels almost unbelievable that there's an Olympics this year. Not just this year but next month. Like can you please come back another time thanks

At least they're in Italy though

(tags by @unashamedly-enthusiastic)

The one two punch of a real ass boar they just stuck a horn on and smiley Worf almost killed me

i had a dream last night that i was scrolling tiktok and dan and phil came up and they were talking about how they actually had a third and they started introducing said third with vague info but with every fact i started realizing with dawning horror that they were describing my fucking dad