sweatermuppet:

i understand its chronic pain but every day seems a bit excessive

lustcannibalism:

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

fursonas:

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

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lazzarella:

interpolationz:

woman-becomer:

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr

the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound

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ingydars:

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

I want everyone to know that yesterday my fiancé (knows with mcr, not all the fandom lore) called me and asked if I was familiar with unholyverse

“hey I keep seeing tweets about it and I wanna know if you know, what is holyverse?”

“unholyverse?”

“yeah what is it?”

“….how much do you know?”

“it’s something with mcr?”

“baby that’s a fanfiction. tbh you should read it it’s good, it is very long tho”

he said he’ll treat it like summer reading

infectiouspiss:

2026

  • FUCK HARD
  • FUCK FAST
  • FUCK BADLY
  • NEVER USE GENERATIVE AI
  • CREATE JOY
  • MUSIC ALWAYS
  • PSPSPSPS AT KITTIES ON THE STREET
  • YUMMY SOUP
  • go see the doctor about that thing
  • BE TRANSGENDER
  • KISS YOUR FRIENDS
  • EAT CHEESE
  • NEVER KILL YOURSELF
  • THRIVE

sleepyjim2:

Tip: while sewing, you can unlock scary sewing by losing your needle somewhere on your bed.

nathanierblog:

McCalls Pikachu Plush 2512 Sewing Pattern

This thing has been out of print for like, 26 years and some of us want to make chubby classic pikachu so uh… I figure it’s okay to share bc it’s kinda hard to get your hands on the remaining physical copies.

Bonus points: Aelith made some embroidery/applique files for it too

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melioricism:

breadandblankets:

breadandblankets:

so i took out the trash today like the good house husband i am not, leaving behind the rank smell of long forgotten noodles and the regrets of two people with memory issues

i, like any good tumblr citizen, remember the tales of the person who put two cups of vanilla extract in their oven so i did the sensible thing to get out two Caps of extract

just then, inspiration struck. a bolt of lightning straight from the muses themselves, if i could use vanilla extract…. who’s to say i couldn’t use other extracts?

i scoured the cabinets, i knew my partner had secreted away some illicit non-vanilla type extracts for baking, and i found it.

hidden in the back of the cabinet was a lone bottle of mint extract

i emptied my two caps with abandon into an (oven safe) glass dish and gleefully set the oven for 300 for an hour

all that was left now was to wait for the sins of the mind to be purged by the mighty mint leaf

ten minutes in… starting to smell kinda like a thin mint

fifteen minutes in, i take a nice deep breath of lovely scented air and i am greeted by searing burning minty pain

i launch myself towards the kitchen, every step closer to mint hell, every orifice on my face burning with the freezing righteous flame of menthol

im fumbling for the oven mitt to rid my home of this foul demon, i pry the oven open and am hit with a blast unlike anything else

i feel what that vine kid taking shots of mouthwash feels, i was seared raw, my tits were blown clean off, and it was just me and that devilish beguiling minty fresh taste

quickly dumping the rest into the sink i ran towards the door, begging for the sweet sweet smell of un-minted air

learning nothing from this encounter, i dare to try once more, with the tumblr-approved extract this time

wish me luck

update: the vanilla has finished cooking, it now very much smells like the pillsberry doughboy fucked a thin mint

doesn’t hurt tho so…. improvement?

#congrats on commiting chemical warfare against yourself

Anonymous —

not sure if im asking right but for a web weave like being firmly kind to urself. not necessarily nice but kind, kinda pep talk esque stuff. the world hasn't ended just yet, c'mon let's go nd do shit. does that make sense ??

opossum-handz:

i hope this is what you were looking for!

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