alexaloraetheris:

buried-in-stardust:

OP: Another year has passed, time to make another natural freezer

[eng by me]

This is brilliant but the energy sticker at the end KILLED me.🤣

foldingfittedsheets:

My beloved is a wizard at making words into horrible abominations of their former self- but you somehow can’t stop yourself from repeating the new version. Then it sticks. Forever.

Words that have been permanently altered in my lexicon started out innocently. I’m sure a lot of households call spinach “spinch” because of that one meme. Pizza morphing into “peepaw” was a little more out of left field but I no longer bat an eye when asking my beloved, “Want to get peepaw for dinner?”

They also changed Cheez-its to just… Its. We had the cheese crackers in the house and they went, “You want some Its?” We laughed ourselves sick and it stuck hard and it’s absolutely incomprehensible to outsiders.

It escalated when they started referring to nipples as “norples” and now that one has escaped containment with our friends.

But the worst one. The one they’re most proud of. Is that they shortened masturbating into just: “turbating” and it’s so goddamn catchy. It somehow cuts out the worst part of the word and leaves a mouth feel similar to gyrating or turbo; like touching yourself is akin to going on a fun bouncy ride in a little spaceship or something.

Now it’s too late for me. Turbating in a permanent addition to my vocabulary and even when my beloved isn’t around that’s how I think of self pleasure in the privacy of my own brain. Their greatest wish is to spread this to everyone. Their greatest achievement, even greater than their doctorate probably, would be spreading turbating to the roiling masses of the world.

domesticabuser:

I love the amount of hatred the 2021 car is drawn with. because I agree