Hidden agenda × The goldfinch
I tried to write it in a way that you dont actually have to have read The goldfinch to understand my point :).
The roselle juice pact between Joke and Zo in episode 1 (and it partly just being swapping spit) reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite books. The quote is from The goldfinch by Donna Tart (which i think is most known for being an infuriating reading experience and because the film adaptation is part of the “Finn Wolfhard queerbaiting trilogy” (together with Stranger Things and It)). In chapter ten part 26 the main character (who is now grown up [;the book spans a large part of his life]), Theo, watches a movie about a pianist with Pippa, the girl he calls his first love and spends most of his life obsessing over without ever really telling her (he is mostly attracted/attached to her because he lost his mother in a bombing when he was an early teen where Pippa was also present and never dealt with the grief in a healthy way). He went to see the movie with Pippa because she loves music but after looking over at her and seeing that Pippa is upset Theo realizes that the movie is only reminding her of the dream that she could not pursue because of the ptsd from bombing. Pippa would play the role of Nita in this context [we'll get to that].
During the movie we get this passage:
"I spent the rest of the film miserable, hardly seeing it. Or, rather, seeing it but in a wholly different way: not the ecstatic prodigy; not the mystic ... - but ... The hunched nocturnal weirdo so unsure how to conduct even the most basic relations with people that (in an interview which I was suddenly finding torturous) he had asked a recording engineer if they couldn't go to a lawyer and legally be declared brothers - sort of the tragic, late-genius version of Tom Cable and me pressing cut thumbs in the darkened backyard of his house, or - even more strangely - Boris seizing my hand, bloody at the knuckles where I'd punched him on the playground, and pressing it to his own bloodied mouth."
Tom cable is a boy Theo used to be friends with when they were in middle school to early highschool, he wasn't the best guy and had a bad influence on him. When Theo's mother dies in the bombing and his life gets difficult Tom is quick to abandon him. His role in Theo's life reminded me of the type of friend Pleun was to Zo.
Boris is a friend (and more, although Theo and his internalized homophobia never admit that) that Theo finds solace in when nothing around him makes sense. They meet after Theo moves in with his father after his mom died. They spent most of their days together, quickly growing codependent and are even each other's first sexual experience (as well as many more, although numbers are never specified). They end up splitting up as well in what is sort of a tragic—doomed by the narrative—plot point. But later in life when they are both adults Boris returns to find Theo and makes up for a mistake he made when they were teens. Boris would play the role of Joke [hear me out on these comparisons, please]
During the scene that I quoted Theo makes it a point to describe the pianist as a weirdo and tells us the disgust he feels towards him. This only after seeing that Pippa wasn't enjoying the movie. It is Pippa's sadness that makes him rethink his perspective on the pianist. He describes the interview as a socially unacceptable and horrid action right before comparing it to his own interactions (both with queer undertones). This disgust towards the pianist (and after the comparison, towards himself as well) that was motivated by Pippa's emotions show how big the role is that Pippa plays in Theo's perspective of his own life (and in ways his queerness). Theo had clung to his attraction to Pippa as evidence of his normalcy. They went through similar things and she was (as he describes it) an “ordinary-looking girl he’d have chosen to be happy with”. If she can be happy and normal then maybe he can be too, if only they could be together. He doesn't actually stand a chance with her, but it is the chase, the hope, that gives him purpose until he finds a new goal.
Similarly at the beginning of the show Zo's character is focused solely on debating/school and Nita.These two are immensely important to how Zo shapes his view of the world and himself. Zo was certainly attracted to Nita but the way he went about it was, in both senses of the words, rather queer. He liked her but clung to that liking in the face of rejection and loss of interest from both sides that felt like an attempt at heteronormativity. He took his liking of her and treated it as a safe haven. When he started developing feelings for Joke he clung to the fact that he also liked Nita; that he had a chance at normalcy.
The bonding moment that Theo shares with Tom Cable (“pressing cut thumbs in the darkened backyard of his house”) is childish. It is something boys do influenced by what they see on television or read in fantasy books. It is a clear sign of how life seemed to Theo before he grew up and before the accident. When life wasn't serious yet Tom Cable and Theo were able to get along, but Tom Cable wasn’t willing to sustain their relationship beyond childish fantasies. When Zo confesses his feelings to Puen he puts a name to what they had both been experiencing. Puen later admits that he felt the same but couldn't quite face this yet and thus he retorted to shutting Zo down and pushing him away. It was the reality of their relationship that Peun couldn't accept, he didn't oppose any of their shared experiences but when Zo started taking it seriously, acknowledging it as more than just childish fun, he backed away. Tom Cable and Puen both play an important part in Theo and Zos view on relationships with men; providing them with a framework that puts emphasis on hiding their feelings and not expressing the truth of their relationship towards the other man, in fear of rejection or having misjudged the situation.
When Joke and Zo start getting close, Joke follows Zo's lead for the most part. He pushes Zo to do new things but only within the bounds of what Zo needs/wants. Joke indulges in the things that Zo claims would help by focusing on academia (debating) and Nita. None of it really helped the underlying issues that led to Zo's self worth balancing on a single toothpick (the still prevalent damage from Puens rejection and his mothers expectations). He wasn't exactly moving forward, but what Joke did helped him in the moment and made the situation (stress about NOVA and the fear that his crush on Nita was hopeless) feel more bearable. The way that Boris helped Theo was a bit more extreme. He and Theo coped with their situation by doing drugs and various other stupid things. Nonetheless it was what kept them busy at the time and made the situation they were in feel better because they—traumatized teens stuck in a shitty half abandoned town—couldn’t do much else. The bonding moment with Boris that Theo mentions (seizing my hand, bloody at the knuckles where I'd punched him on the playground, and pressing it to his own bloodied mouth) spoke of this stupid indulgence. It was red, messy and aggressive, like their relationship was as well. Their pact didn't shy away from what they were together and to each other. In a similar fashion Joke was never scared to admit the reality of his relationship to Zo. The Rosella juice pact is a clear establishment of the early part of their relationship as being very transactional. They spent time together because they were exchanging services and Joke adds a literal (kinda) agreement that sets in stone that that is how things are. But when their relationship changes, when they start to develop feelings for each other, Joke is once again there to point it out. Admitting his feelings in episode 5 and clarifying that he likes Zo. Boris and Joke are brass, unafraid to speak of the truth and impulsive in their care. They contrast Tom Cable and Puen by being vocal of what they think. It is this contrast that helps Theo and Zo to break down their preconceived notions of what a relationship entails.
Boris doesn't give Theo the kind of happy ending that Joke gives Zo. The goldfinch isn't a book about happy romance, it's the story of a tortured man told by said man. The way he describes his relationships to men is clouded by his internalized homophobia and we get lil to no satisfaction from this story. The book ends right at Theo's lowest point. Sure he resolved the major issue of the story but he is only barely alive (having been saved from an overdose by Boris). The book ends right at the point where Theo would be able to get better and build a proper life, but doesn't show us that. In contrast, Zo is able to heal. With the help of Joke and through his own perseverance he improves his mental state as well as physical situation, and the show ends with a beautiful recap of how good their life is now, leaving the viewer satisfied and content. But I suppose that is where the difference lies between a 800 page Donna Tart book and a gmmtv bl. One simply has more space reserved for fluff.
Please do not read the goldfinch just because of this comparison (or the other way around). They are actually nothing alike (ᵕ—ᴗ—). But like my favorite professor always says: stating obvious similarities doesn't actually provoke intelligent thought. It is when you have to stretch the concept/media to be able to compare it to the other, that new ideas and insights arise.
Thank you @airenyah and @naamashemer for still being interested in Hidden agenda content, eventhough its been like three years. If you want to be tagged in upcoming HA posts, or dont want to be tagged anymore, let me know <3 )
