About the Creatures

If trench warfare were made-up, it would be the most on-the-nose anti-war satire ever created. Bunch of young men shooting at each other from inside open graves, slowly rotting even as they fight to stay alive. Every so often, they get to move a few hundred metres to dig a new grave for themselves somewhere else and this is called a victory.

A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

It’s years before anyone explains it to him.

People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.

The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. That’s a word, it’s his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, they’re putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.

It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.

Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

There’s no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride. 

YES IT’S BACK ON MY DASH AT LAST

For real though working together with some human social workers, a Vulcan would be an excellent caretaker for children in an adoption center.

Child has a meltdown? Imagine Stork, perfectly calm and unbothered, approaching the kid and saying “You appear quite upset, Eliza. If you would please allow me to relocate you to the ‘bean-bag-chair,’ we can discuss the source of your distress.”

A Vulcan educated in medicine and child psychology would be endlessly patient with a kid with behavioral issues. Stork wouldn’t get or upset or frustrated. After all, these are children with medical and psychological conditions. It would be illogical to blame the child or to not treat them with the appropriate care.

Even if the a little one was having a bad day or was just overtired, Stork wouldn’t get angry. He might even be a calming presence. Any new kids acting out would learn real quick that they’d have better luck trying to arm-wrestle a Klingon than get a rise out of Stork.

Not only that, Vulcans live much longer than humans. Imagine Stork looking virtually unchanged as decades pass. Kids he’d helped years ago would turn up fully grown, maybe there to adopt their own kids, and run into Stork, looking almost exactly as they remember him.

And he’d probably remember them too. “Welcome back, Eliza.”

“…Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so logically happiness must slow it down…”

Will reblog every time it crosses my dash 🖖🏾

star trek heritage post (November 14th, 2020)

Periodic reminder that the compiled tag I use on AO3 is “Stork The Vulcan (fanon)” and so far there are 6 fics featuring him:

1. Heed The Stork
2. There’s Always A Chance and
3. Not Logical by MarlinSpirkHall (hi)
4. What Stork Brings by AfterIWake @mousedetective
5. One (1) Daily Shoulder Pat by Android_And_Ale @android-and-ale
6. Just This Once, Everybody Lives by @alternatefuturesao3

Various iterations of this thread ^ have also been bookmarked under the tag for future reference 🖖

Also periodic reminder that the heat death bit is a Callahan’s Cross-Time Saloon reference.

Callahan’s Law: “Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased — thus do we refute entropy.”

it feckin col

A small price to pay for mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika

Tips for understanding your cat's signals.

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trying to groom her brother | source

Foul yet loving brother simply doing his very best! Get this delightful duo for only $75.45 today!

years ago i watched this p/orn and the girl was screaming ‘oh god!! oh god!!!’ and the dude was like ‘there are no gods here’ and to this day it haunts me wtf was he talking about

A favorite, quoted in my household, featured a young lass about to be fucked by a cowboy and she says to him “I ain’t ever been with a man before!” And the dude, an incredible actor, says firmly “and you ain’t gonna today. Look into my eyes, I am the devil himself.” It fucking rocked.

If I do ever come into millions and gillions of fat stacks of dollars, mark me, I’ll create a porn company that turns out only well written and freakish porn for this undeserving world.

And that is a promise.

maybe smelling things can be fun... ive been holding a couple things near me up to my nose and sniffing them. my favorite is currently "post-shower damp towel"

ive never really thought about specifically smelling things until now. scents just kind of come to me. any of the stuff i smell is usually just stuff thats in the environment floating around. needless to say it is not so bad

If you like damp towels: may I suggest Clean Pot or Pan. No food in it, just sniff the metal. It’s weirdly specific. Kind of sharp in the way cheddar is sharp, but for smells.

ITS FUCKING REAL???

The Bongcloud Counter-Gambit: Hotbox Variation

Ok but that cat has fantastic swedish pronunciation

Found this in the comments of Shaun's latest video on Andrew Tate, in which he talks pretty extensively about how important it is for men to find ways to be confident in their genders without trying to adhere to, or enforce, anyone else's ideas of manhood on anyone.

Highly recommend checking it out.

Anyway. I rarely see folks talk about the positive impact transmascs have on manhood as a whole, and I think it's important to acknowledge and celebrate that.

You ever see something innocuous, minding its own business on the clearance shelf at Michael’s and before you know it, it takes over your life for a few weeks?

So it was with this desktop greenhouse.

I took it home and after taking an appropriate time to “season” my idea in my mind (read: a month or two) I set to make my vision of a mini botanical garden a reality.

I started by removing the heavy glass panels and building a raised floor above the latch. I wanted to use the base as a foundation on the building.

I wrapped the foundation in plastic stone textured flooring (meant for Christmas villages) and built a pond at one end of the same. I then gave it a more realistic paint job and designed a rough layout for my plants and displays.

I also knew I wanted to make the ironwork significantly more intricate, but I wasn’t sure how just yet…

Up next - PLANTS! I went wild making all kinds of plants. Some were specific species and some were more conceptual.

I made several trees with polymer clay and moss, cacti out of beads and flocking, cattails out of raffia, hot glue and coffee grounds, and giant monstera leaves out of paper and wire.

This part should have taken me a long time, but it really came together fast. I loved finding ways to replicate natural shapes and patterns using bits of this and that.

I did make adjustments to my plans as I went like eliminating benches in favor of a simpler overall design.

Then I needed to fill my pond with water. For this I used resin. Lily pads were added to the top layer, and I wired in simple LED fairy lights. The batteries are kept in the box under the foundation.

In a weekend frenzy I added more plants, metal (paper) steps, new (plexi)glass windows, a roof, wrought-iron vines (paper again), doors that open, and a hose reel disguising the latch. Suddenly, a project I thought would take months was finished…

I love my desktop botanical garden. Right now it sits on a simple lazy Susan in my office. But I’d love to get it a proper display box to protect from dust.

Thank you for coming on this little journey with me. This piece packs a lot of joy into a tiny space. I always love building miniatures, and I’ll be doing more in the future I’m sure.

I forgot I have to be active here so here’s my Twitter tutorial on how to draw folds I made a while back to help a friend!

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Reminder to survey makers to not use their school emails for these things, especially if they're a minor (also don't use school emails to answer surveys). That is a one-way ticket to accidentally doxxing yourself. This is a rule of thumb for the internet in general, I'm going to use google forms as an example since that's a popular survey-making website. Google forms will do this on surveys you make, even if you personally don't write it down in the description box. Anyone now knows where you currently go to school just by visiting the page.

Stay safe out there and know your internet safety, folks.

you need to make more self-indulgent art btw. hyper-specific self-indulgent niche shit that appeals to You Specifically and maybe nobody else will get it or even like it but that's the point.