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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
parttimepunner
eraserheadadult

cars are so much scarier than planes. i've literally never been afraid on an airplane like first of all being on a plane is fun. second of all you're in a big as fuck vehicle with no other vehicles around for miles and the person at the wheel is a professional and not just Some Guy. one time i was getting a ride home from a nonbinary friend of a friend who was driving very erratically down the highway at 1am and they said to me unprompted "i have ocd so i only drive at speeds that are multiples of five"

eraserheadadult

this was years ago but i ran into them again at a party and they didn't recognize me (transition) so they started hitting on me and wouldnt stop talking to me about criminal minds yaoi. and i've never had this happen with an airline pilot, at least not an openly airline pilot

talkingsoup
slartibartfastibast

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ironbite4

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

thedarkbutbeige

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spaceshipoftheseus

there’s a timeskip

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!

IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH

AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because

THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING

AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA

BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM

HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

randomslasher

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mayfriend

#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick

yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.

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i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.

mayfriend

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limbobilbo

> sees nihilistic depiction of human nature

> looks inside

> hope :)

my teacher made us take a survival quiz as a class but we had to unanimously agree on every answer and whichever class got the best score got donuts and let me tell you as a chubby smart sociopath this was my personal hell if that was real life i wouldve just killed myself and everyone else probably wouldve been fine or maybe they wouldn't have. i don't care but anyway yeah lord of the flies is bullshit