i find some people really do not understand grief (end post) but specifically grief for really old people who die of natural causes there is this idea that it doesn't make sense to mourn them because they lived a long life and they passed peacefully and their time was simply over and all of those things are true, but a good and quiet death after a long and happy life is not something that removes or lessens grief. it is the ideal grief, yes, it makes it less complicated, but even the most uncomplicated grief is still death and still has the potential to be a life-changing loss. every death of a loved one sits in me like a ring in a tree trunk. this notion incorrectly identifies grief as 'this person died when they should not have' when you can know in your bones that someone died at the right time, that they were ready and wanted to go, and still grieve intensely for them. grief is the knowledge that they are not coming back, that everything you shared exists only now in your memories. even if a person died well - when you have lost people to 'bad' deaths you really appreciate a 'good' death - they are still never coming back, and that is still something you must carry with you for the rest of your life. there is no manner of dying or age of the person who died when that becomes less painful. people want to believe there is a way to lose someone forever that won't break your heart and that is just not true.