Harvesting my wheat

Hehehehehe

Can I fucking help you?

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

What

What

me and him have that 2004 controversial yaoi going on

There's something wrong with my brain because multiple times now while painting my house I've thought to myself "hey, this is like one of those simulator games, like power wash simulator, except with perfect feedback and you don't even need a computer! Cool!"

[guy whose bedtime is approaching fast] I need to write one billion words right now. and draw everything that has ever existed.

Too bad you cut me off

I once admired you, and I envied you just as much.

some kind of Father-son & Creator-Creation trope, I love the HC that his anger comes from realizing his creator made him just to abandon him later for no reason, leaving him to question his purpose.

Today I serve you royalteeth, tomorrow? Who knows

re-posting bc reblogs got turned off etc

didn’t jesus do something similar to that

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

Postmortal

The last time I played Puck, the director was a huge freak about not letting us wear shoes on stage because it would "ruin the look", but we all kept eating shit, and instead of just letting us wear skintone dance shoes or something with grip, motherfucker poured Pepsi on the floor so it'd be sticky and we had to schlorp around. I fucking hate you, David.

Why couldn't this have been a one time I dreamt

Coking the stage (mopping it with diluted soda so it's a little sticky) is a legitimate low-budget tactic for slick floors, but he just poured so much Pepsi on the floors that for about a whole week, it was audible.

Maybe the course of true love would run a little fucking smoother if we didn't have to ford your Pepsi river, DAVID.

I would just quit. Fuck people like that. It's easy to walk away

No it's not. Didn't you read the post? There was dried Pepsi everywhere.

At the crossroads, don’t turn left

my browser extension that colors posts based on the poster's blog theme did something very fun just now

I'm new to Tumblr, but my dream is to be seen by the Haiku Bot

Your brain loves to rewrite your past with the knowledge you have now. This is called hindsight bias. It makes things look clear that were not clear at all when you were in the situation.

Hindsight can make everything feel like it was obvious. Patterns feel clearer. Red flags look brighter. But you did not have that clarity when you were in it. You were acting with the knowledge, feelings, and instincts you had at the time.

Even if someone warned you, even if part of you suspected something was wrong, the way you felt then mattered. Hope mattered. Fear mattered. Attachment mattered.

You were trying. You were surviving. You were not foolish for wanting things to work.

Be kinder to the version of you who did not know what you know now.

Be kinder to the

version of you who did not

know what you know now.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Crushing news: shrinkflation so bad the funny number has decreased from 69 to 67