In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything — what a waste!
papa, didn’t you say that we spencers were distantly related to anne boleyn? yes, i read all about her. they even wrote a poem: “she married the king of england, and the king chopped off her head because he met another woman, and he wanted her to be queen—instead.”
I’ve never told you this and it probably means you’ll have to fire me, but… well actually, I’m in love with you. Yes, I mean… I mean in that way. Completely. And I know, I know you don’t see me in that way. It’s perfectly fine. I’m a grown-up. I just thought I’d lighten the gloom with something totally unexpected.
