Clinging on to a fig tree for dear life. Raft got swallowed up by monstrous Charybdis. Saltwater chafing my ass

When laying siege to one's enemy and more traditional means of force like swords and arrows fail, one must consider an alternate, perhaps even radical idea: a big wooden horse

Just got back from my katabasis. Feeling very refreshed and hopeful for the future. All we need to do now is to not kill any sacred cattle, how hard can that be?

Leading a young princess to her death as the sacrificial lamb but shaking my head so her vengeful mother knows I disapprove

Sure am glad that no one else also has a massive scar on their thigh that can help identify them haha! How else will I prove my identity

Missing my WIFE missing my SON missing my DOG missing my PARENTS missing my HOMELAND

If I were perhaps more prone to the nonsensical, I would describe my life as one so absurd it could only be fiction-- a bard's tale to be passed on through generations. What a thought! Alas, it is just the gods that conspire against me and my own shitty luck

Was not expecting Philoctetes to still be alive, I will admit. #awkward

If you think about it, it's kind of unfair that my actions have consequences

Beating up Thersites with a stick is the only stress relief I can get in this goddamn war

Just found some Fantastic white horses tonight. It's a shame I can't find their owners. I'll have to bring them back to camp with me, as a kindness

Being lost at sea is an Art . No one is doing it like me. I wouldn't expect you to understand

All these fuckers in my palace. Their thighs aren't even that big. Microthighs

You wouldn't know my name she goes to another school

What is a war if not an excuse to steal a fuckton of horses

Terrified that I will come home to a house that no longer knows me

The passing of my dog should not have aggrieved me so. He was old. it is a miracle that he lived this long, or that he recognized me when I had left him so young. Yet, this grief is staggering. Why did he have to die?