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ampervadasz
Unmute !
Do not attempt to out-malicious-compliance the staff at the malicious compliance conference.
Some dipshit decided to pay the conference fee ($250) in quarters. He handed us a wrapped plastic bag full of loose change. "It's all there," he said with a shit-eating grin, "you can count it."
Oh buddy. We're going to count it. What were you expecting?
At about the time I got to $60, he offered to give us $300 collateral so he could get his badge and go to the conference.
No, bud. You get to watch the most dyscalculic staffer count to a thousand while all your friends go in to the breakfast and find seats for the first talk.
"Ruining someone's day" is the favorite hobby of everyone here. Why would you hand us the perfect opportunity to wreck your shit and think that was an own? Half the con is calling him "Untraceable," the other half is calling him "Quarter Boy" and nobody cares what he says his handle is.
I spent an hour counting that and made him go fetch me baggies to hold it every fifty dollars.
This ended up being a good bonus prank for me too, because when the counting was done I wrapped the bags in gaffer's tape and spent the rest of the day handing it to people very casually while saying "oh here, hold this for a sec" and then watching they weren't ready for the weight (I only did this to people I know well enough to know this wouldn't hurt them).
It's an infosec conference, so it's a weekend in a hotel full of people whose favorite thing is breaking the law and whose second favorite thing is following the letter of the law while cheerfully violating the spirit.
Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, @unyanizedcatboys
Reblogged paper-mario-wiki
Reblogged odd-gelato
irisunmuted
"okay ❤️ yay ❤️" remains an unmatched response
Reblogged evilsnootlord
SHIMMY SHIMMY YAY, SHIMMY YAY, SHIMMY YA (DRANK)
SWALLA-LA-LA
Reblogged evilsnootlord
🌾🌾🌾
Harvesting my wheat
Hehehehehe
Can I fucking help you?
my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her
What
What
Reblogged la-mancha-screwjob
I LOVE LIBRARIES!!
My library does “stuffed animal sleepovers” where kids leave their stuffed animals at the library overnight. Then the staff lets teenagers in after-hours to arrange the stuffed animals into fun scenes and take a bunch of pictures for the library’s social media. And then the little kids come back the next day and get to see all the pictures of their stuffed animals reading, playing games, riding around the library on book carts, etc 🥹
Reblogged assumptionprime
neolithic inhabitant of the andean plateau: hmm i wonder if there are any good edible tubers growing around here
the humble potato:
Reblogged narwhalsarefalling
they removed posting from tumblr. now there's only scrolling down through the vast blank expanse. great
