I have been going to the national archives about once or twice a season for the last two years, and there’s never once been a chair near this sign

You seat a table of three for breakfast and the woman says hmm yes I will have a loaded waffle tower please and you say ma'am that's a children's item and she says so and you say okay fine and the man who brought a whole laptop in says ah, I will have what the lady is having and an orange soda and you say for breakfast and he says of course and then the guy who is clearly a criminal says what kind of bread do you use for your French toast and you say ... White and he says can I sub brioche and you say we don't have brioche and he sighs and says I'll get the rooty tooty... Whatever the cowboy omelette and the other two start razzing him about being a cowboy and when you come to check up on them the woman is playing airplane with the loaded waffle tower trying to get the criminal to eat it and they tip $200 and your watch has been replaced with a better watch

evening medical roundup: my brother's out of surgery & everything's fine; my mother's cancer scare is looking increasingly less cancer-y & thus less scary; i am miserably tired

@pangur-and-grim Check out the jowls on this guy Facebook showed to me (despite me not living anywhere near the rescue). If anyone wants this moon-faced king, he’s available at Furkids Animal Rescue and Shelter in Georgia, USA.

Was in a meeting today where a 40-something policy analyst said "in the words of the great philosopher @Dril,"

"not to harp on this, but" - slogan of someone who full-heartedly intends to harp on it. favorite saying of the world's #1 harper