my constant stream of thank yous and sorrys will save me from the ass beating i have coming for the crime of having needs

Do you guys think [redacted] is gay? *remembers it’s bad to speculate abt people’s sexualities* I know for certain [redacted] is gay

anybody else in here feel like they're constantly and involuntarily calculating their every thought and action. and doing it wrong

Every time i purchase a moderately expensive item the Karl Marx on my shoulder is like "For shame... you purchase yet another pair of jeans when you have 5 already at home, you despicable commodity fetishist? In my time, a man with five outfits would consider himself blessed beyond measure, and yet you want for more, while there are children starving in the world??" to which the second Karl Marx on my other shoulder says "Objection! Those 5 pairs of jeans all wildly uncomfortable or have holes in the ass, due to the decline of clothing quality driven by the fast fashion industry, unfortunately making this purchase a necessity... Plus, by purchasing a slightly more expensive pair of jeans from an independent brand, seeking quality over 'brand recognition', they are deliberately trying to avoid engaging in conspicuous consumption!" to which the third Karl Marx clinging to my back like that beetle from Doctor Who says "Remember, my friend; the less you eat, drink, buy books, go to the theatre or to balls, or to the pub, and the less you think, love, theorize, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you will be able to save and the greater will become your treasure which neither moth nor rust will corrupt — your capital. Buy the jeans," to which I say "I don't know if any of you have actually read Karl Marx"

they call m,e guy who gets guilty & scared a normal amount about normal things

“source?” divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams

its nothing some ibuprofen and a blunt and 5 beers and a head injury and jacking off and killing myself cant fix

man hamburgers are so good, in spite of the fascist imperialist american goverment which i don´t support

Being on the internet with OCD is like “I want to post a picture of my outfit because I look bomb but what if my full address and National Insurance number is written in the reflection of this random public bathroom mirror and I didn’t notice”