"? No" is such a foundational linguistic construction to my psyche. a hieroglyph. it should be a standard emoji

"? No" is such a foundational linguistic construction to my psyche. a hieroglyph. it should be a standard emoji

y’all my friend decided to investigate what was blocking their drain system and you are not prepared for the answer

i never draw for posts but something about this overtook me so sorry op

hey it’s ok if you lost your ai virginity back when you were uneducated. a lot of posts go like “reblog if you have never ever used generative ai and never ever will!!!” but it’s ok if you have used gen ai before and it’s even ok if you used to think it was cool, back before you understood what it really was and how it worked, either because no one had taught you about it and you discovered it on your own or because the only education you had received about it was from the tech bros. you’re not a burger with a bite out of it for having used ai. ok

you can't even say "get a job" to people anymore because the market is so bad they'll be like ive applied to 400 jobs over the past 6 months

it's genuinely bullshit that you should be required to own a mobile phone for participation in literally any aspect of life

you never realize how many pictures are on Tumblr until your internet is bad

Someone in Glasgow please go see this for me pls. I will be there in spirit 🙏

Brief report from the flute accompaniment:

It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community. There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.

After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.

Account from the Large Dyke.

Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.

I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.

10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.

Account from the ball haver

7am: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.

8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels

9am: I look at my balls for a while

10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for -2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.

11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it

12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world

12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"

12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little

12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.

12.55: I think I left the stove on

1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, beautiful flute music accompanies the gathering

1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I fall to the ground and languish a moment. I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.

felt like the non-scots should know about this

I'm sorry WHAT

'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it

An important corollary to "if you were faking your mental illness, you could stop whenever you wanted."

hey you guys should be patrolling

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

#mypoisons

‘i love you dami’

2 seconds later because damian is a biter LOL

mr beast partnering with the lds church to help bring in younger people so they can marry off said younger people was not in my 2026 bingo

more “had to be held back by multiple people to avoid a fight” in the JL except it’s a mess of powerscaling and awkwardness so when they do lose it, J’onn is holding Hal back by thinking really hard about yellow, Batman took Superman down to the floor one time and Superman let him because he was terrified of accidentally ripping Batman’s arm off, 4 separate League members tried to hold Diana back once from decking an asshole planetary ambassador and it only worked because Aquaman wedged his trident around her chest and it reacted strangely with her lasso. the speedsters just hold each others’ pinkies. no one is brave enough to try and hold Batman back except Superman and that always ends with him flying Batman somewhere high up so he can’t wiggle out and hurt himself. Etc etc

i exist and i love you