this agonized look on ilya's face
i've been thinking about it for hours
THESE!!! 😭 -> #i keep going back to watch this scene over and over #it's such a delicious mixture of despair and pain and love #he's actually getting some of what he wants #which is already more than he already expected #someone who wants him #and wants to keep him for a long time #but for all of shane's let's be honest about how we feel he never said he loves him either #and he's been up all night trying to figure out a plan #so they can have any chance of a future #and ilya wants that #and ilya is floored that shane wants that too #wants HIM too #his face when he looks away is like #how can i not love him #but telling him could ruin all of it #because remember when he expressed more than shane last time? #he tries to circumvent with russian #because shane had opened that option up to him months ago #and it helped then #but this time it's not enough #(all the things she says plays in the distance) #he has to say it #and he's ready to try to take it back #i mean... #like he could explain it away as less of a big deal #he meant it in the same way shane said it to hayden!!! #but shane loves him too #and he says it and he isn't running #but this ilya doesn't know that yet
