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Onlythelordknows

@onlythelordknowswhyitsnotth-blog

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Welcome to the fifth edition of Sterek Everlasting, a fan-made magazine showcasing stories and artwork from the amazingly talented Sterek community. If you're a devoted Sterek fan, you've come to the right place.

Thank you to all the writers and artists who helped bring this publication to life. Once again, we couldn’t have done it without you!

- Liam (@sterekbros) & Dori (@evanesdust)

Featured Fics:

Fallen For You by @mindofmim T | 13k | fake dating | mutual pining | love confessions

The Pumpkin Plan - Derek's Way to Woo a Stiles by @karlakattz G | 21k | meet-cute | pining | mates

I Can Tell That We're Gonna Be (Boy)Friends by @nerdherderette T | 13.5k | AU - HS | AU - human | enemies to friends to lovers

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ok au where hales are human and derek is the sheriff and stiles is the orphan son of the weird Stilinski family who lived out in the woods and almost all died in a freak accident!

the Stilinski are an ancient line of witches who tend to the Nemeton

After the accident, stiles went to New York and fell off the face of the earth

Now, 7 years later! He’s back. And a string of mysterious deaths coincide with his return.

Derek obviously thinks it’s stiles doing the murdering

Stiles is trying to avoid derek

They keep meeting in weird places after deaths and derek is like “I cannot bone my number one suspect”

And stiles is like “move ASIDE hot man. I am saving the town and you are distracting”

omg hello I hope ur having a good day. do u read crackfics or humor and if so do u have any favorites? I enjoy ur recs so I'm kinda 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️ Trying To See

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Hi there! I hope your day is going well too 😊 I don’t read crack-ish fics often but I definitely have some favourites! I hope you enjoy these as much as I did:

Pansy and Ginny have made a stupid wager and Draco may be the one who comes away a winner.

Never Gonna Give You Up by InnerLilith (E, 5k)

Five times Harry rickrolls Draco and one time Draco gets him back.
Harry poses for a naked Auror calendar and Draco goes batshit crazy with lust.
Or: the one where Harry has writer’s block and Malfoy isn’t helping.

Aural Gratification by birdsofshore (E, 11k)

Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot. Check the podfic by agentmoppet here!

Title of Their Sex Tape by Cibee (T, 12k)

What are the Wizarding world's most elite law enforcers doing when they aren't catching criminals? It seems Auror Malfoy is often caught throwing food into Auror Potter's mouth when he's mid-yawn.
Harry’s done plenty of ridiculous things for charity over the years, but Robards’ latest scheme really takes the biscuit. Or rather, the teacake.

you look so fine by michi_thekiller (E, 16k)

In which Draco is a Veela and Harry is his mate. Dark!Humor or Crack!Horror, you decide.

Draco Malfoy: Toilet Supremo by who_la_hoop (T, 26k)

It must be a vision brought on by eating cheese sarnies too close to bedtime, Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy can really be standing on his doorstep, calling himself a Toilet Supremo, and expecting Harry to buy not only this unlikeliest of scenarios, but also a new loo.
When this season's purple courgettes are woefully thin, Draco Malfoy thinks it amounts to small beans. Next thing he knows, the Department of Standards is over-run with leeks, Brussels sprouts all sorts of legislative difficulties, and somebody appears to have put a roquette under Harry Potter. Can Draco seize a marrow victory? Or will his plans for peas be squashed?
After transferring to the Apparition Department, Harry's life becomes one big dick joke. And all his friends are arseholes. So is Malfoy, but what else is new? AKA Harry Potter and the eighteen twenty dicks.

Bite Me, Hate Memes by pir8fancier (E, 44k)

Draco Malfoy is incensed to realize that someone is trying to usurp his position as the premier Harry Potter hater.
This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.
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i’ll forgive a fat girl for so many annoying things simply because i know how fucking miserable it is to be a fat girl. like. you dont get to exist freely and with any joy until you go through a decades long soul search full of extreme emotional pain OR you nearly kill yourself to become something society might accept. or you toughen up after years of bullying forced you to be more confident. literally there is no painless route to being a fat girl in your 20 somethings. so like. fat girls can be annoying as a treat. you have all been annoying our whole lives

this goes quadruple for fat black girls and fat trans girls btw. literally do not try to tell me anything they do is cringe cuz i’ll demolish you with my giant ass

“literally there is no painless route to being a fat girl in your 20 somethings” THIS 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Anonymous asked:

What are your favorite drarry fics?

oh. ooooooooooooh oh oh.

here are my staples:

draco, the magic dragon - libbydrew a fic i first read on livejournal (showing off the varnish of my casket here) that i thought about regularly for the almost two decades i fell out of fandom. canon to me tbh. libby invented my draco rubric: proud lil showboat even when everything around him has gone to rancid shit, sarcastic and aloof personality as a poor facade to distract from the big ol' gaping well of hurt.

Potter took a great breath, then let it out slowly – a low whistle between his teeth. "Malfoy, I had no idea. I thought—" "Why are you here?" Draco cut him off before the idiot embarrassed them both. Their shared past was water under the bridge – even if Draco had drowned in it.

nightingale - michi_the_killer

another back-in-my-day fav, even though i can only stand to read half of it. actually even thinking about it is making me stare off in a distance for upwards of three minutes. this one i would hand off wrapped in about a million miles of caution tape. + also a huge fan of michi's gory veela fic.

It was better than fighting, Harry thought, although sometimes he still wanted to rip into Malfoy, to hurt him. Other days, he thought, it was better than anything.

rookie moves - peu_a_peu

what can i say that hasn't already been said - peu is a MASTER. if you somehow know who i am but haven't read this, reassess your life choices through professional means but not until after you dive in.

“Feels kinda big,” Malfoy said, smirking. “For a guy your height.” “My height is average,” Harry said, although he was undeniably glaring upward at Malfoy’s face when they stood so close together. “And it is kinda big.”

stately homes of wiltshire - waspabi another one that crept into my heart and made a home. hard to choose between this and waspabi's other drarry fic, but there's something about the decrepit manor that just does it for me. a perfect harry and draco, perfect soft reaching towards each other.

Draco smiled and dragged Potter from the shop before he could charm any more elderly ladies with his unkept, take-care-of-me-I’m-confused-and-have-nice-shoulders aesthetic. Once outside in the drizzle, he realised he still had his hand around Potter’s forearm. He yanked his hand back immediately.

i wake up falling - warmfoothills

warmfoothills :,) just reading this moniker makes me vision go soft around the edges. their writing has made me out loud, quietly say "oh," multiple times. the prose is darling, this story is such a brief, aching glance. it was also really hard to pick just one (flashback, warm nights i also go in for).

“I love you,” he says, unable to stop himself. Draco blinks, a barely-there flinch, like Harry’s taken a swing at him. “I know,” he says, still oblivious to the reference, oblivious to the way his words scoop right into the meat of Harry’s stupid, hopeful heart. “It’s not enough, is it?” Draco shakes his head. Above, the stars watch unfeelingly on.

the pure and simple truth - lettered no one does dialogue with the mastery lettered does. my GOD. my god. i feel like this fic is drarry perfectly distilled.

“What’s he going to be?” Blaise raised a brow. “Pardon?” “You said he says Hermione should be Minister, and all those other things. What does Malfoy think he should be?” There was something much like pity in Blaise’s eyes. “He thinks he should never, ever be forgiven for the things he’s done.” Harry felt ill. “That’s not fair.” “When has Draco ever been fair?” “I meant―” Harry swallowed hard. “That’s not right.” Blaise looked more pitying still. “When has Draco ever been right?”

far from the tree - aideomai

the writer i avoid talking about the most bc once i start i cannot physically restrain myself from going on about their beauty forever. i sat for forty-five solid minutes frowning, trying to choose between this one and in the hand. and dwelling. okay anyway. i keep a doc of quotes from fics that resonate and it's 50% aideomai.

Draco wondered what Potter thought of this day, in the future the twins came from. If he had told Ginny about it. If he had forgotten it. He couldn’t forget it, could he? It felt burned into Draco’s body already, a final point that he had been moving toward for years without knowing.

i could go on but i think seven is a nice solid number tyvm for this ask!

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2024.10.06

Complete fics posted on AO3 this day

Harry is struck by an ancient curse, and the only cure is marriage. Not just in the sense he has to say his vows — he must also responsibly perform his marital duties. In the sea of marriage proposals thrown at him by fans and friends, Draco Malfoy's suggestion stands out.
Once upon a time, Draco told the Death Eaters he wasn't sure it was Harry, even when he was sure. Once upon a time, Draco told the elves he was needing more food, even when the sight of food making him ill. Once upon a time, Harry Potter told the Wizengammot that Draco Malfoy was an important key to win the war. Once upon a time, Harry Potter told Draco Malfoy about his cousin Teddy and how the little wizard had no family left, except Draco and a ill Andromeda. [...]
There’s nothing Harry likes more than when Draco beats the crap out of him.

4. Ingenious by @coffeedrgn87 [T, 1k]

Trapped in an attic with no magic to rely on, Harry and Draco must find a way out.
When Harry saw Malfoy from across from the restaurant, and realised his boyfriend was going to propose, he walked over with a bottle of wine in his hand.

---

Fest/Exchange

1. Meet Me At Midnight by Anonymous [E, 16k]

Four Slytherins—including a drunk Malfoy with glitter in his hair from the clubs—have piled into Harry's car. It's shaping up to be a strange Uber shift. Or: when Harry and Draco found solace in long drives, midnights, and in each other, fourteen years after the war. 2024 H/D Muggle Fair | @hd-fan-fair

2. some things are best left unsaid by Anonymous [T, 1k]

“I don’t see what the issue is, Potter,” Draco says, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. As if this doesn’t matter one bit. As if he’d ever say any of this sober. As if he hasn’t been madly in love with Potter for years. As if everyone but Potter himself hasn’t already noticed (and Draco is sure they’ve noticed). pine4pine 2024

Weird shit I have said that I think Stiles would say 4

"I'm not a red flag, I told you what was wrong with me, I'm a caution sign at best"

"You're just a traffic cone of a human being"

"Color me fucking Confucius"

"Paranoia isn't paranoia if you're right"

"What in the H-e-double FUCK!?"

"Why is there no submissive and breedable emoji?"

"THINK FAST CHUCKLE NUTS" *Throws rock*

"There is undeniable sexual tension between his forehead and the business end of a shotgun"

(What is wrong with you?) "Alphabetically or chronologically?"

"Once I beat the chemical imbalance in my brain it's over for you bitches"

Hi. I'm looking for a fic where Stiles is getting beaten by Theo. Derek finds him close to death and brings him to Ixchel. They move to south America and the pack kills theo and Scott goes feral.

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Hi @avidbiscuit! @istalsworld says it's this one.

(30/30 I 180,785 I Explicit I Sterek)

Derek looked up in surprise to note that they were taking a private jet. Dread settled into his gut like a stone. “It has a cage, doesn’t it?” he asked quietly, and noted the subtle changes in his family members’ posture. “Is it for me?” Cora gave him a pleading look and nodded. “Is it because of what you’re going to tell me?” he asked, voice like gravel. Another nod confirmed it. Stiles. Oh, GOD. It had to be Stiles. Derek would not lose control over anyone else in Beacon Hills and they damned well knew it.

- OR -

The one where Derek has been gone for 6 months building a new life, finds out that Stiles is being assaulted by Theo, so he comes back to Beacon Hills to kick some serious ass and rescue the loudmouthed human who stole his heart.

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Some of @render-me-usless' Fav Fics!

If you want to make me a list let me know in IM. You can do whatever you want, fave fics, fav tropes or even check out the pending asks page and fill one of those.

(1/1 I 8,954 I Mature I Sterek)

Stiles and his Gigantic Repressed Feelings accidentally affect the weather. A lot. Like. A lot.

//

  “It’s snowing, Stiles,” says Derek.

Stiles looks up. He nods. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”

Derek looks at him. “It’s snowing, Stiles. In your bedroom.”

(1/1 I 10,421 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles is Snow White, Kate is the Evil Queen, and when Chris the Huntsman doesn't kill him, he runs off to live with seven werewolves.

(1/1 I 33,552 I Teen I Sterek)

Stiles has always known that he isn't quite human - the plant life that tends to sprout around him whenever he gets upset or excited gives it away. He's never really fit in among the regular people in Beacon Hills and is determined to wait it out, go to college, and find somewhere to belong. He's forced to abandon those plans, however, after he desperately agrees to enter into an arranged marriage to save his father's life.

An arranged marriage with an angry, sometimes furry dude with trust issues. It's all very Beauty and the Beast, without the singing candlesticks.

(2/2 I 81,018 I Teen I Sterek)

Not wanting to think on it too much, Stiles took a step forward and passed his hand between the bars, moving the bleeding side closer to Derek’s mouth.

“Not too close, he bites.”

Stiles snatched his hand away just as Derek had been about to lick at it. The snarl he got in response was not comforting.

“He what?” Stiles asked nervously, turning to Deaton.

The man looked a little amused. “Don’t worry, only if he doesn’t like you.”

“Well, he probably hates me, now!” Stiles insisted, turning back to Derek.

He looked extremely displeased.

(8/8 I 113,736 I Mature I Sterek)

"And then there was pain again, but this time it was in only three places—his arm, below his clavicle, and next to his heart, all on the left side. It felt like the skin was being sliced apart, ripped open, flayed off— And suddenly it was done. Derek looked across the room and saw the boy on the floor, looking about as bad as Derek felt."

Derek and Stiles learn that bonding is probably best done with ridiculous amounts of video games and maybe a little bit of time.

(25/25 I 115,506 I Explicit I Sterek)

"I'm sorry, I believe there's something wrong with my hearing," Stiles said. "Because I could have sworn you just told me you set up a betrothal agreement with the Hales. A betrothal agreement involving me. Me."

Scott smiled his easygoing smile and nodded, which told Stiles no, he hadn't misheard a damn thing.

After seven years of lengthy negotiations, the treaty between the Hales and the Argents has fallen apart and the two countries fell into war.

Months later, there's an uneasy truce, thanks to the intervention of King Scott McCall, but it won't last. In a desperate attempt to maintain the peace, the Hales sign a treaty with the McCalls to marry Prince Derek to Prince Stiles Stilinski, King Scott's brother.

In the history of the world, there have been many better ideas.

(50/50 I 209,549 I Explicit I Sterek)

Stiles knows what he should be doing, finding a good Dom and seeing a few dozen therapists. But that shit can wait, right now he's got a gang to infiltrate and a murderer to find. A murderer who killed his father.

IloveherIoveherIloveherIloveherIloveherIloverIloveher 

I am fucking split open and bleeding 

My soul is on the floor, shredded and gory and moulding 

There are needles in my eyes

My suffering is deserved and earned 

The culprit of my own agony, weaver of my own noose 

If only I were talented, I could make it tighter 

Forever choking but never fucking dead 

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