Servant: Your highness, a party of adventurers has answered your call for help.

King: Excellent. What are they like?

Servant: One of them is a dragon-lady.

King: Interesting. Those are rare around these parts.

Servant: Another is a goblin paladin.

King: Not a role you usually see goblins in.

Servant: A third is a purple-skinned tiefling.

King: I didn't even know they come in that color.

Servant: The last one is a sapient gelatinous cube.

King: What. How did these four even meet?

Servant: They met in a tavern two hours ago, apparently.

how to open a bag of rice correctly

the opposite if mwah is hawm. fucking bite you.

dino saurs were not scary monsters they were mamas with eggs and when they drank water they were like fuckk yessss waterrrr

im pickling shit you aint even jarred yet

adding a blank emoji to my discord server might be the best thing to ever happen to text communication. asynchronous digital equivalent of hanging out in a room with your friends in silence. let's all nothing together

tumblr is the only social media site where someone DMing you ''hey nice to meet you, how are you'' is suspicious as fuck