Thanks to my brother for telling me about this story. [Alt text below]

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Dude, I just realized. Heaven's worst piece of trash is our best piece of gold

Beautiful trans girl vs patron saint of workaholism

They mad asf in the comments btw tho he’s right

Aphobia is frustrating to talk about because so many people are threatened by people who are okay with, or actively happier, not being in relationships. So many people seem to actively make themselves miserable to maintain a romantic relationship just so they can continue to be in it. And when confronted with the fact that people, all people, are allowed to be happy single, they feel as though they have to defend their way of life.

Aphobia isn't just widespread, it's the default. Because when you start tugging at that thread, a lot of things come loose.

My tip for trying to compartmentalize your emotions or desires is to realize when you're using hyperbolic shorthand for an actually realistic desire. I know realizing even that can be difficult sometimes but let me demonstrate

"I wish I was popular" -> I want to be noticed and engaged with, and I need reassurance and the feeling of connection

"I wanna delete my blog and ghost my friends" -> I want to act out in a visible way that expresses how frustrated I am / I feel overwhelmed with connections and need time to cool off

"I wanna do something reckless/dangerous" -> I feel trapped in obligations and am buckling under stress, I need a sufficient outlet and more freedom to exist in peace

Obviously there may be different kinds of feelings or needs under your particular impulses, these are just some fairly common examples of what you could be feeling. The harder part is trying to figure out what it is that causes this impulse, and even harder might be if you don't have control over the situation, and are unable to have your needs met. It's not always your fault if you're feeling bad, but realizing where it stems from can help you seek out new paths to relieve it. This is something I've learnt working in therapy.

The toddler in your heart has valid needs. But it is a toddler and will scream and cry about it. Learn to sit by until it's done and then ask if it wants a juice box or a hug

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