Me every winter
[Video description: a flock of ducks rush outside of a wooden barn or shed into a yard covered with a thick blanket of snow. The ducks mill around outside for a couple of seconds and then all turn around right back inside. The ducks are quacking, more so on the return journey. There are two people laughing behind the camera when the ducks run back inside. At the end we hear, “Are you kidding?” /End description.]
what they don’t tell you about mental illness is that it is so much more than sadness. sometimes you don’t want to eat. sometimes you don’t shower for days because you forget or don’t have the energy. sometimes you fall asleep in your clothes. sometimes you can’t even cry because you just feel empty. sometimes you appear happy but it’s sucking the life out of you to appear so. sometimes you want to be left alone but you’re lonely. sometimes you sleep but it doesn’t make you feel rested when you wake up.
all of these things are valid parts of dealing with mental illness, and all of these things can change one day or week or month or year at a time. acknowledge your pain. then work on healing.
my ape brain when it gets dark at 4:45pm
