I’m obsessed with the ambiguity in what Shane says to Yuna when they talk outside. Like the words he chooses are very specific but they encompass SO MUCH. “I tried really hard but I just can’t help it and I’m sorry” is simply the most insane and heartbreaking line ever I’m so not normal about this..
“I tried really hard but I just can’t help it” I tried to not be gay. I tried for it to be women (even with the perfect woman). I really really tried for it to not be Ilya. I tried for it to be anyone else. I tried for it to be no one at all. I tried for it to not matter. I tried to just focus on what was supposed to matter. I tried to make hockey the only thing that mattered. I tried to keep this thing separate. I tried to not have it mess anything up. I tried to put the pieces back together. I tried to not break anything in the first place.
“And I’m sorry.” I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I had this thing to tell you. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it. I’m sorry it had to be this way. I’m sorry it got to this point. I’m sorry I couldn’t not let it get to this point. I’m sorry you found out this way. I’m sorry you had to find out at all. I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was. I’m sorry I can’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I’m not who I wanted to be. I’m sorry this is all so messed up. I’m sorry I’m so messed up. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it. I’m sorry my trying wasn’t enough.
Like are you FUCKING KIDDING ME???? Anyways I don’t care. Whatever Jacob Tierney I literally don’t care leave me alone…..