[EXTREMELY HAUNTED & HOLLOW-EYED LOOK] yeah man i’m doing. Really good

There was a character in a book I read once who was described as "handsomely fat" and that phrase is stuck in my brain forever. The author really was like "no shut up, they're charismatic, they're good-looking, they're handsomely fat. not just handsome AND fat; them being fat is directly contributing to their good looks. you agree." and they were RIGHT

thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3

what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this

Whereas the reality is far more like

Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

don't neglect your female blorbos. put HER in the torment nexus. give HER some old lady yuri. ship HER with everyone under the sun

do any of you guys remember that sculpture of theseus & the minotaur that lowkey looks like theseus is riding the minotaur like his life depends on it

this one?

Is the lowkey in the room with us?

y'all need to relearn the word erratic and stop using schizophrenic/bipolar/psychotic as a replacement

y'all need to relearn the word particular and stop using ocd as a replacement

People need to relearn the word "egocentric" and stop using narcissist/narc as a replacement.

People need to relearn the word "impulse" and stop using "intrusive thought" as a replacement

absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i’m going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn’t do it at all, it’s not that fun

Im the guy who's getting all those pauses pregnant

When youre a kid youre like wtf adults are making themselves sick with poisons and when youre an adult youre like i need more poisons ASAP

the guy who designed scythes definitely knew that shit was badass. he didnt care about wheat

just pinned a girl to the fourth wall

reblog to bonk prev with yr forehead like a cat

by enigmatriz