exiting a uquiz halfway through when it becomes clear the creator's narrow and immature world view and cultural knowledge leaves them totally unequipped to tell me which peanuts character i am with any degree of accuracy or insight

feeding her stuffie must live on....

debating if it would be funnier to have a bumper sticker saying "my other ride is a [exact make and model of the car the sticker is on]" or "my other ride is a [equally shitty but different car]"

its that time of day when jimmy finds moose tasty

Cop just walked into this Chinese place and was like im here for pickup and pointed to the "we exercise the fourth amendment" sign and said "these losers [ICE] bother you at all?" like even the cops are bothered with them

btw if youre young and scared of doing adult things without your parents ive learned that like 90% of the time you can just tell the doctors office or the dmv "haha sorry ive never done this without help before... can you show me how to do this?" the employee will not care. if that means anything to you

sci fi is when it's called a "mission" and fantasy is when it's called a "quest"

you know it's sci fi if they're called "dimensions," you know it's fantasy if they're called "planes"