Look like a girl, think like a guy.
Negecltful!Batfamily x Host!Reader x Ouran
• Today didn't start with you. It didn't.
• Today started with Jason and Damian heading to Japan to come and check on you.
• The email said something about a physical exam done in front of everyone! You were a lady!
• It was starting to the family, so Damian convinced them to let him and Jason go to check on you.
• More brothers and sisters would be deployed as necessary of course.
• Back to you, because you're the main character here.
• You're seated under a tree with your ladies, yet your eyes wander to the twins.
• They, of course, are pulling their weird bullshit. And one of the ladies looks away embarrassed.
"You’re absolutely right, mademoiselle. All beauty is fleeting. Just take a look at these cherry blossoms. You’ll never be able to see them this vibrant again. And that’s why, I’ve compiled this picture book that contains photos that capture the beauty of each passing day. Incidentally, I have similar books of the other hosts as well. And if you ladies are interested in collecting all four of them, I’ll discount the full set." You watch Kyoya sell it to the poor girls who instantly buy them. You aren't surprised, but a little disappointed.
• You turn back to your ladies with a sigh.
• Not too much longer passes and your ladies leave.
• You head over to Hikaru, Kaoru, Tamaki, and Kyoya just in time for a wonderful conversation.
"So Haruhi, have you decided your elective courses for this term?" The twins ask as they lean on Haruhi, like usual. "How about Conversational French?" Kaoru asks as he turns to Haruhi who grimaces slightly. "I don't know..." Haruhi mumbles as Hikaru smiles brightly. "I think the three of us should take it together. It makes perfect sense." Hikaru says as he and Kaoru's smiles turn slightly more evil. "We are in the same class." The twins say looking directly at Tamaki.
"Say, Mommy dear..." Tamaki mumbles as he sulks by a tree. You chuckle at Kyoya a bit, "Yes, do say, Mommy." To which Kyoya groans slightly yet doesn't look up from his clipboard. "What is it now, Daddy?" Kyoya says his voice and facial expression betraying nothing.
"I have a new theory. I mean, it’s just my hypothesis, but it seems that by being in the same class, Hikaru and Kaoru are able to spend more time with Haruhi than I get to here at the club. This gives them the chance to get close to her, and if that happens," Tamaki says trailing off slightly. "Oh my, you're about to have a great time." You laugh as you watch Tamaki bite he his thumb nail. "Tamaki, you just now realized that?" Kyoya asks.
• This leads to Tamaki letting out the most horrified panicked sounding scream you've ever heard.
• Tamaki lectures Haruhi about hanging out near the Twins before diverging from that tanget slightly.
Tamaki gasps and smiles, "Yes…that’s it…Alright then! We can’t go on hiding the fact that you’re a girl from everyone in the school any longer! All Daddy wants is for you to go back to the girl you used to be, when you surrounded yourself with girlfriends and started living a wholesome life!" Tamaki says triumphantly. "Who are you calling Daddy?" Haruhi asks as you laugh and pat her shoulder as she rolls her eyes. "So do it! Change back now! Change back now!" Tamaki shouts.
"You don’t have to rush things. She’s going to be found out soon enough." Hikaru says as he shrugs. "Physical exams are the day after tomorrow." Kaoru says as he too shrugs with a smile. "Physical…exams?" Haruhi asks as she looks up at the sky. "That’s right. I forgot all about it." Kyoya mutters as he runs a hand through his hair and looks over his clipboard.
"Then that means…there’s no doubt…they’re gonna know…I’m really a girl." Haruhi says as she runs the back of her neck.
• Back in the club room Tamaki is having weird fantasies, which is also normal, but it seems to be better than usual.
"He must be having a great day dream." Honey says as you nod. "Yeah, must be great if he looks so... Ew– is that drool?" You ask as you look over Tamaki. "He’s kind of creeping me out." Hikaru says as he fake gags.
"Envious, Hikaru? This is all part of my strategy. While you boys did your time blinded by your jealousy, I foresee the outcome of this charade. Aah. This anime is obviously a romantic school comedy. Haruhi and I are the main characters. So that means we are love interests." Tamaki says as he laughs and you swear you see roses appear behind him. "Yeah, then what are we?" The twins ask as you cross your arms very amused by this.
"You boys, are the homosexual supporting cast." Tamaki says as he draws a line on the club room floor and you swear you see Kyoya almost break his pen. "So please make sure that you don’t step across this line." Tamaki says with a smile. "You’ve gotta be kidding." The twins say as they groan. "Wait, why am I behind this line?" You ask getting ignored.
"Hey, listen boss." Hikaru starts as he leans on Kaoru. "I don’t think you get it." Kaoru says as he puts his hands behind his head. "If word gets out that Haru-Chan is really a girl, then she won’t be able to be in the Host Club anymore." Honey says as Tamaki gasps in shock. "But if Haru-Chan started wearing girls clothes, I bet she’d be even cuter than she is now." Honey says as you nod. It's hard not to agree.
• Not too much longer passes before Haruhi returns and is immediately grabbed by Tamaki.
"Don’t you worry Haruhi. We’re determined to keep your secret. No one will find out you’re really a girl during tomorrow’s physical exams. So please, promise that you will stay our beloved secret Princess!" Tamaki says to Haruhi as you sigh. "Sure." Haruhi mumbles as she looks up at Tamaki.
"You know what, I think both of us would be a little peeved if we had to watch all the guys flirt with her." Hikaru says as he crosses his arms. "Then that settles it." Kaoru says as he nods. "Listen up, squad members! At tomorrow’s physical exams, position yourselves in A, and then wait for your orders." Tamaki says as he points to you all. "Yes, sir!" Hikaru and Kaoru say as they salute Tamaki.
• You decide now is the moment to interject.
"You all remember I'm a girl too, right?" You ask as the club falls solent.
• It was always Haruhi being acknowledged as a girl with you in the background.
• It didn't bother you much because they gave you plenty of attention and cared just as much about you, but the thought that you were a girl was an afterthought.
• Hikaru is sputtering as he looks you up and down.
• Kaoru is just as bad except he's shaking Hikaru while mumbling incoherently likely in confusion.
• Haruhi nods unfazed seeing as you both got so close because you're both girls stuck with dumbasses.
• Tamaki is shook because you're a girl too? Oh no! What if you're taken away from his baby girl? And then she'll be completely like those shady twins!
• Kyoya's face goes red. How could he forget? But as quickly as it came it left. He was back to being composed.
• Honey gasped. He forgot! But it made sense why you'd always stick close to Haru-chan.
• Mori's ears are red. Very red in fact. Other than that? He looks the same as usual.
• The conversation shifts again. Fancy Tuna of course. Mostly to bribe Haruhi into going along with their plan.
• The next day comes and you and Haruhi watch as the twins put on a show.
• A nurse guides you and Haruhi off with Kyoya following besides you too.
• Honey and Mori shove you both into dressing rooms only for you to nearly hit your face. Luckily Kyoya catches you before you can.
• Tamaki emerges from the changing room dressed like Haruhi only to immediately get caught, but then tries you. You both have differences that allow this to also fail immediately.
• You and Haruhi exit the changing rooms.
• You're the "shy" type, so you use that to your advantage hiding slightly behind Haruhi.
"I'm just too embarrassed to do my physical exam publicly, and Haruhi-chan was nice enough to join me and do his privately." You lie as Haruhi nods. Luckily this causes both your anxiety Haruhi's fans to excitedly squeal.
• With that you both are led into your private physical exam room. You and Haruhi head into different changing rooms.
• You hear some commotion, yet don't think much of then you hear something that makes your blood run cold.
"No! It’s not what you think! Please just keep quiet!"
• You immediately rush over with disregard for yourself. Your underclassmen is maybe in danger.
• The next second the rest of the host club is already there. Tamaki tossing off his shirt to cover Haruhi and Mori giving you the lab coat he wore for his disguise earlier.
• You all listen to his story and turns out... He's just a doctor that lost his wife and daughter. To divorce that is.
• The daughter goes to Ouran. Ouran public school. You're in Ouran private school. You all sent him on his way without much more worry.
• The door is then opened again this time with Jason Todd standing in the doorway looking horrifying.
• On top of that you're slightly undressed with just a doctor's coat covering you and a girl beside you covered by a shirt she's not even wearing.
• Better yet, the host club is there.
• You're about to be in big trouble.
A/N: Cliffhanger! I actually wanted Damian to be the first to make contact because of the episode with the boy joining the host club. However that's not until a little while later.
