galaxy brain addition thank you
Yesterday I told a guy I was ace/aro and he asked what “aro” meant, so I told him, and he responded, “Oh, I thought it might be like A-E-R-O and I was confused.”
Yes. I am asexual/aerodynamic. At the slightest hint of sex or romance I launch myself into the air and land several miles away.
Happy 10th birthday to the most popular post I’ve ever made. I have learned about so many aroace characters with the ability to fly from this post and I love that.
official aerodynamic post
obsessed with stories where you can never go home
you can never go home because you fell asleep for a thousand years and when you woke up and returned there, your society had changed, your house had fallen and all of your friends were dead. you can never go home because you made a choice and were shattered into pieces and your home was destroyed in your wake. you can never go home because someone took you and changed you against your will and although your home is the same, the person who belonged there is dead. you can never go home because you committed a crime and your family expelled you and even as they extend a hand of reconciliation, you will never forgive them. you can never go home because your home was a person and someone murdered her and now you drift and grieve to the point of insanity. you can never go home because you never knew your sister but she gave you every opportunity you have and now she's dead and your parents see nothing but her in your eyes.
You can’t go home because home hasn’t changed at all, and that’s the problem, because wherever you went changed you too much for home to recognize
I’m tired of pretending the funniest line in the series wasn’t said by manfred von karma
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You're failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN
I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz
For science
OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND
- HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
- ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
- POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
- HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
- APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
- KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
- HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
- APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE
ares is the god of war, not kratos
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN
I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore
op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao
Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book
hey is this still post of the year or
how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?
I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK
And the post of the year goes to.....
YOU
here is me holding my trophy for tumblr post of the year. i'd like to thank no one in particular but i would like to unthank everyone who decided this one in particular was post of the year. i will never let this down ever
tomorrow i have to give my daughter’s pikachu plushie gender-affirming surgery
ALT
ALT
ALTher results look great, congrats pikachu! 💖⚡️🏳️⚧️
ALT
he had to jump in the ballpit to cool off after getting all airplane ears over a treat puzzle that proved a little too advanced
he's done this a few times now. the ball pit actively soothes him when he gets mad over puzzles. i could learn something from this
ALTAn underrated horse fact is that if you have horse that is both A. Not stupid and B. Likes you, it will actively try to prevent you from falling to your doom when you fuck up as a rider. Like actually make an effort not to drop you like a cell phone. I think horses deserve more credit for that.
My mum's favourite horse was a total bitch who hated everyone and everything except for playing polocrosse (she was a polocrosse horse). When she was on the field she'd do everything to win, including keeping a stupid rider properly seated no matter how bad at staying on they were, but the instant she was off the field all bets were off. Her favourite tricks included:
- breathing in deep when being saddled for anything that wasn't a polocrosse game, so that the saddle straps will be loose and the rider will fall on their arse. This is a favourite trick of bitch horses and most horse people will check for it so it tends to fail.
- biting people. Her name was Nipper, because she liked to bite people.
- Doing the breathing trick, waiting for you to correct her and tighten the saddle, and biting you when you were distracted by that
- stepping on your foot when you were leading her or standing with her. This wasn't being clumsy. She would step on peoples' feet on purpose.
- standing behind you with her head over your shoulder watching stuff, then deciding she wants to watch over your other shoulder. When a horse wants to do this, they just lift their head up over yours; easy. Nipper would lift her head up over yours, then dip her head down halfway through to hit you on the head with her jaw.
- chewing the fuck out of everything
- chasing dogs, other horses, and small children (not in a 'let's play together' way, she found their fear amusing)
- enticing people to hand feed her and then biting the hand that feeds her
She was always very careful never to hurt anyone more than a bruise but boy did she love giving those bruises. If you were in real danger (such as being pressed between two horses and risking being trampled), she would use her own body to protect you. And then bite you. But she'd play these stupid games constantly and then as soon as she was on the field it was like 'me and my rider are best friends, we are a TEAM that will WIN THIS GAME' and was totally trustworthy until the chukka was over. (Between chukkas, she was not trustworthy. I'd keep her warm between chukkas and she'd resent me because she wanted to be out on the field playing with the other horses, not doing something silly and pointless like 'take a few minutes at a slower pace so your stupid horse heart doesn't explode'. Between chukkas was prime Step On Derin's Feet time.)
I do not think I trust horses
They gotta amuse themselves somehow
I should point out that Nipper hated us for fun. She liked us inasmuch as she was capable of that emotion and wanted to go to events and play polocrosse (if a horse does not want to play polocrosse, you will know it). She behaved like this not out of a specific personal hatred, but because it entertained her to cause problems. This horse exuded High School Mean Girl energy.
need That character absolutely delirious with fear. recoiling from everything. unable to parse what's happening around them, their mind stuck in fight or flight. shaking and hyperventilating. completely unconsolable even as they're wrapped in a crushing hug.