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@pisscocaine

I’m so sorry to those who hate speech bubbles and supernatural hijacks because I think they’re so funny and the height of entertainment. I’m not going to stop. I’m going to get worse.

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

I tell this story all the time but I'll tell it again! When I taught kindergarten full time, we had a working bee one weekend where we did a bunch of gardening/landscaping in the outdoor area. One of the dads put up a bit of fencing, then stood back and had a look, kind of frowning like he wasn't sure. His wife then came along, and the following conversation ensued:

Wife: GETMO? Husband: (after a moment, with a sigh) Yeah, GETMO. Me: GETMO? Wife and husband, in perfect unison: Good Enough To Move On

Absolutely LIFE CHANGING acronym, friends and enemies.

Not to be that person, but if you remember this, how's that newfound back pain going for ya babe

PHRASE ADDED!

  • LET'S DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
  • LET'S DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
  • DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING
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one of the batkids gets dosed with truth serum and they immediately use it to try to get the others in trouble. not the non-drugged batkids using it to their advantage mind you, but the drugged one.

Dick: B i have to tell you something and you have to remember i literally cannot lie. Jason's on drugs. i saw him taking drugs you need to punish him. he's on drugs.
Bruce:
Jason from across the cave, THE most irritated they've ever heard him: I TOOK AN IBUPROFEN YOU FUCKIN' JACKASS.

-

Damian: father, usually i am not a snitch because Jason trained that out of me at the league, but i am under truth serum so i feel i have no choice but to let you know that Timothy is neglecting to tell you about injuries he gets on patrol again, despite your interventions. he clearly has no respect for you and this should be addressed.
Bruce, grave: Tim, is this true?
Tim, immensely confused: wha- NO?!
Bruce: Damian is currently unable to lie to me, Tim. please, be honest.
Damian: he even did it tonight, he does it all the time father.
Tim: what the- WHAT FUCKING-
Tim: *pauses*
Tim, incredulous: yOU MEAN THE FUCKING SPLINTER I GOT FOUR HOURS AGO?!?!
Bruce:
Bruce: ok but you didn't deny the no respect thing.
Tim: no comment.

-

Tim, through the coms: B, i've been dosed with truth serum. also Jason's killing again.
Jason, just accidentally stepped on a snail but loves to disappoint Batman: and i'll fucking do it again, what are you gonna do about it?

Listen I really just want Alfred and Maratha to be buds and go on vacation together. 

Maratha expresses during a phone call to Alfred that she has seasonal depression and has no one to go on vacation with now that Johnathan gone. (not that they went on holiday often in the first place) Which causes Alfred to step up and say “ You know I’m owed some vacation days myself we should go together.”  And they do. They go to some beachy place and were they relax, drink cocktails way too early in the day. shop (which Martha has a very hard time doing being so conscious of her money and hasn’t bought new clothes for herself in years and only buys some after Alfred buys some with her) They read books gossip about their boys.  And they go on a yacht that gets involved in a robbery, were they totally not afraid about because they know their boys will save them. Which they do. Basically, just have a grand old time. 

And when Alfred comes back to the manor and wants to relax he changes out of his bulter outfit and dons his patio beachwear pink shirt and kaki shorts with loafers and hangs around the pool confusing the hell out of batfam (but Batman)

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

"I confessed, to the wrong priest" is my favorite line in Wake Up Dead Man, because it's so subtle and yet so kind. Martha has been so dismissive of Jud the whole movie. Not outright mean, of course, but she clearly saw him as a tenant who sometimes gave her a hand rather than a priest, and put him down when he seemed to overstep by acting like one. The line is an admission that not only Jud is a priest, he's a priest who does share the beliefs she's built herself over for decades. Even disillusioned by Wicks's self-serving hypocrisy, he still allows her to see her faith as a moral pillar. It's saying "I should have trusted you, and if I had, maybe none of this would have happened".

It's the "because you are a good nurse" of the movie.

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

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"I asked grok"

"I asked chatgpt"

ok well I asked Will Graham, and he closed his eyes and twitched for a while talking to himself and then opened them and started hyperventilating and shaking.

extremely funny to me that harley quinns real name is apparently harleen quinzel, a name that sounds less real that harley quinn. they should do that with more comic characters. batman real name batthew manning. daredevil real name darius devilson. doctor strange real name. well okay that one doesnt count.

I have some very good news for you about Black Bolt's real name

NOW THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT

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