no age no pronouns no diagnosis in bio. no one needs to know that. just post and have a good time

a red string of fate can be a leash. if you're enlightened

Full: Twitter | Bluesky

I wish I could turn off mandatory 2fa. I wish it gave me a pop-up that said “Not using 2fa is less secure and puts your account at risk. Are you sure you want to do that?” and I could click “yes” and never have to enter a fucking code from a text ever again

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

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fanfic is extremely hard

Russian Dons

How he started, where he's going, poor thing 🤭

related to my previous post: this is my POV on the eternal "it is/n't that deep" debate always going on with everything, as someone who now just goes "cool okay whatever" and leaves when something disappoints me instead of wasting time raging about what went wrong or waiting around for it to get better. i think it's good to have all those crazy what-if thought experiments, but i also think you need to make sure you're not setting yourself up for heartache! be nice to yourself and be nice to other people (as the moral so often is...)

peak dynamic in my opinion

Horikoshi really went for my throat on a personal level with these two 🔥 🩸

niche trope I enjoy: person recounting a story of something terrible they did and the way they describe it makes it sound like an active decision where they were completely in control and knew what they were doing and enjoyed it, but if you look at the bare bones facts, it's like. are you sure about that? are you sure you didn't just panic and lash out and do something irreparable? are you sure that's what you wanted and you aren't just retroactively assigning yourself agency to cope? but you as the audience can't really know the answer to that, because the storyteller is the only one who was there and this is how they're choosing to preserve it, and that matters for how they want to be perceived going forward... but you do still wonder.

some tags aren't quite getting my vibe: to me this specific thing isn't quite about characters who go "it was all my fault and I deserve whatever happens to me for it" when they weren't even really responsible, this is about characters twitching and pulling a trigger and getting very "...yes I meant to kill them and it was the right move and I'm very cool and calculating so you should all tremble before me" sunk cost fallacy about it. less "I'm the worst :(" and more "I'm the worst >:] ." different guyotype.

​being manipulated into place against the trembling strain of your body and fighting to maintain that position under the appraising eyes of the man who put you there. unbearably sexy rope bottoming scene without any of the rope. just eyes and hands.

The em dash is a type of phallus that authors use to jerk off sentences